Many years ago, I attended a ritual led by a Druid. At the end of the ritual, we had to go off and find ‘our tree’. In the dusky evening, we were to walk towards a tree that called to us, greet it and welcome the message it gave.
Blessings
Debbie
Showing posts with label Debbie. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Debbie. Show all posts
Thursday, 3 March 2022
A Tribute to The Wild Blackberry
Sunday, 2 February 2020
Wards and Shields
I often see discussions around empaths, psychic attacks and curses and the usage of shields and wards. Commonly the person complaining about being attacked, cursed or overwhelmed asserts that they have shields up, they have their wards in place but whoever their assailant is can get around them.
The obvious answer is to change your system, it's clearly not working for you. But this seems to be met with a wall of "Wait, what? What do you mean change my system? It's a ward."
There isn't a single method. There isn't a single way of doing this that will always work every time. Attacks can take many forms and no single shield or ward will be infallible. If you give out information on how you've set your wards, you're effectively inviting someone to come and break them or get past them. I know people who would do it just for the practice.
So, in designing or reworking your wards, first you need to decide how you want them to work and what you're warding.
Do you want you or your property to be invisible? This can work, but you need to be specific about who it is invisible to and how that is determined. Does it require an invitation to find it? Does ordering pizza qualify as an invitation? I know that may sound silly, but I know of one person who went with this as an option and couldn't get anything at all delivered until they changed it. Is it invisible only to those with harmful intent towards you and yours? Many curses can be worked as blessings, will they sneak through?
Do you want your property to have the energetic equivalent of high fences with razor wire? This can also work, but again, you need to think of the specifics. Can anyone see through? How will the positive, wanted energies get through? The other thing to consider is that much like physical high fences and barbed wire, this kind of thing is like putting a big sign up saying "there's something worth protecting here". Have you ever paid attention to which houses get burgled most often? It's usually the ones with obvious security, these are the people who have stuff worth taking. Doing your energetic security in a similar way may attract all kinds of curious things. How strong is it really?
Do you want a solid impenetrable wall or bubble? I like this as a temporary measure now and then, but remember, if nothing can get in, then nothing can get out. And if nothing can get in, that means nothing at all, the positive will be excluded as well as the negative. Nothing moving in or out will make the environment inside stale after a while.
Do you want to set a guardian? A guardian can act as a warden or gatekeeper to monitor what comes in and allow access or block as needed. The type of guardian you choose and how you instruct them in their role will make a difference to the value they add. Will your guardian be an ancestor or spirit guide? Will it be a construct? How will you provide them with the energy required to fulfill their role? How will you maintain a good relationship with them? Are you wanting a single guardian or a team or the equivalent of a pack of guard dogs?
Will your wards be a single piece or different layers? Different layers will be more work and will take more thought in to what each layer will be comprised of. This isn't a bad thing. If your outside layer is something like "nothing to see here", it will deflect most of the frivolous types saving the serious juice for more determined attacks.
Will your wards be tied to an object or several objects? For personal shields, this can be a piece of jewellery. For a property, this could be charged items placed in the corners. Will your wards be affected if the item is moved or taken away altogether?
Do you have some sort of alarm or notification system built into your wards? Will you know if they're being tried? Will you know if they need more energy or a repair in a weak spot? Do you want to be advised as it's happening or would you rather do a check now and then?
I believe it's best to answer these questions for yourself, figure out what you want and work out a way to make it work from there. There are no right or wrong answers, there is only what works best for you in your particular situation. If you get it wrong for you, learn from it and fix it or change it to something else.
Experiment, make mistakes, learn from them. Rinse and repeat.
Blessings
Debbie
The obvious answer is to change your system, it's clearly not working for you. But this seems to be met with a wall of "Wait, what? What do you mean change my system? It's a ward."
There isn't a single method. There isn't a single way of doing this that will always work every time. Attacks can take many forms and no single shield or ward will be infallible. If you give out information on how you've set your wards, you're effectively inviting someone to come and break them or get past them. I know people who would do it just for the practice.
So, in designing or reworking your wards, first you need to decide how you want them to work and what you're warding.
Do you want you or your property to be invisible? This can work, but you need to be specific about who it is invisible to and how that is determined. Does it require an invitation to find it? Does ordering pizza qualify as an invitation? I know that may sound silly, but I know of one person who went with this as an option and couldn't get anything at all delivered until they changed it. Is it invisible only to those with harmful intent towards you and yours? Many curses can be worked as blessings, will they sneak through?
Do you want your property to have the energetic equivalent of high fences with razor wire? This can also work, but again, you need to think of the specifics. Can anyone see through? How will the positive, wanted energies get through? The other thing to consider is that much like physical high fences and barbed wire, this kind of thing is like putting a big sign up saying "there's something worth protecting here". Have you ever paid attention to which houses get burgled most often? It's usually the ones with obvious security, these are the people who have stuff worth taking. Doing your energetic security in a similar way may attract all kinds of curious things. How strong is it really?
Do you want a solid impenetrable wall or bubble? I like this as a temporary measure now and then, but remember, if nothing can get in, then nothing can get out. And if nothing can get in, that means nothing at all, the positive will be excluded as well as the negative. Nothing moving in or out will make the environment inside stale after a while.
Do you want to set a guardian? A guardian can act as a warden or gatekeeper to monitor what comes in and allow access or block as needed. The type of guardian you choose and how you instruct them in their role will make a difference to the value they add. Will your guardian be an ancestor or spirit guide? Will it be a construct? How will you provide them with the energy required to fulfill their role? How will you maintain a good relationship with them? Are you wanting a single guardian or a team or the equivalent of a pack of guard dogs?
Will your wards be a single piece or different layers? Different layers will be more work and will take more thought in to what each layer will be comprised of. This isn't a bad thing. If your outside layer is something like "nothing to see here", it will deflect most of the frivolous types saving the serious juice for more determined attacks.
Will your wards be tied to an object or several objects? For personal shields, this can be a piece of jewellery. For a property, this could be charged items placed in the corners. Will your wards be affected if the item is moved or taken away altogether?
Do you have some sort of alarm or notification system built into your wards? Will you know if they're being tried? Will you know if they need more energy or a repair in a weak spot? Do you want to be advised as it's happening or would you rather do a check now and then?
I believe it's best to answer these questions for yourself, figure out what you want and work out a way to make it work from there. There are no right or wrong answers, there is only what works best for you in your particular situation. If you get it wrong for you, learn from it and fix it or change it to something else.
Experiment, make mistakes, learn from them. Rinse and repeat.
Blessings
Debbie
Friday, 22 March 2019
Autumn Equinox 2019
Yesterday was the Autumn Equinox. I haven't really done much to celebrate it over the last few years as it's quite a busy time for me. As it is a harvest festival, I'm usually flat out preserving my crop to keep it over the next year. This year hasn't really been too different, although my garden has been mostly neglected during our horrendously hot and oppressive summer. I'm well known amongst friends and family for this, so I am also often the recipient of their overflows and have been given a lot of fruit to work my magic on.
This year however, the Equinox fell almost a week after the shootings in Christchurch. A far right, fascist, anti-immigration lunatic shot up two mosques killing 50 Muslims at prayer and wounding 50 more.
His hateful reaping however, harvested something truly amazing. The outpouring of love from Christchurch people, from New Zealanders and from the rest of the world has been awe-inspiring and overwhelming.
Anyone who knows me, knows that I am a contrary person. I am naive and always wanting to believe the best of people while also being a cynical old bitch. So while I hoped for a positive response, I expected the opposite. So the response from people everywhere has left me hiding away from people while I cry often. Those tears aren't fear or an inability to cope with my city being changed again and while there's still sadness for the tragedy, mostly my tears are about people being better than I'd given them credit for.
I'm in awe at the messages of love and support. I'm in awe of the strength of our Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern and her grace in handling this. I'm in awe of the opposition parties in our Government pulling their heads in and supporting our PM. I'm in awe of the actions ordinary people are taking the world over because of this event. I have never seen the goodness in people shine through on such a massive scale and I don't know how to adjust to it. I am in awe of the constant vigils, the markers of respect and support (I think our florists nationwide have run out of flowers repeatedly) and the turnout of people attending these events. I am in awe of our gangs, previously violent rivals, coming together, putting their differences aside to stand in support of the Muslim community. I am in awe of our Police force and emergency services for their hard work and incredible strength.
So this year, my Autumn Equinox celebration is one of genuine thanksgiving and gratitude.
I am grateful that I was wrong about people in general and give thanks that I was wrong.
I am grateful that I live in a place where this is how we react to things like this.
I am guiltily thankful that my family were safe although I can't say that anyone is unaffected by it.
I am grateful that for the most part, this has caused a huge shift in what ordinary people will and won't tolerate with regards to casual racism and hate speech.
I am grateful that our Government has used common sense in tightening up gun laws and gun licensing and done it quickly.
I am grateful that as a nation, we're being held up as a beacon of sense and respect by the rest of the world.
I am grateful.
Blessings
Debbie
This year however, the Equinox fell almost a week after the shootings in Christchurch. A far right, fascist, anti-immigration lunatic shot up two mosques killing 50 Muslims at prayer and wounding 50 more.
His hateful reaping however, harvested something truly amazing. The outpouring of love from Christchurch people, from New Zealanders and from the rest of the world has been awe-inspiring and overwhelming.
Anyone who knows me, knows that I am a contrary person. I am naive and always wanting to believe the best of people while also being a cynical old bitch. So while I hoped for a positive response, I expected the opposite. So the response from people everywhere has left me hiding away from people while I cry often. Those tears aren't fear or an inability to cope with my city being changed again and while there's still sadness for the tragedy, mostly my tears are about people being better than I'd given them credit for.
I'm in awe at the messages of love and support. I'm in awe of the strength of our Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern and her grace in handling this. I'm in awe of the opposition parties in our Government pulling their heads in and supporting our PM. I'm in awe of the actions ordinary people are taking the world over because of this event. I have never seen the goodness in people shine through on such a massive scale and I don't know how to adjust to it. I am in awe of the constant vigils, the markers of respect and support (I think our florists nationwide have run out of flowers repeatedly) and the turnout of people attending these events. I am in awe of our gangs, previously violent rivals, coming together, putting their differences aside to stand in support of the Muslim community. I am in awe of our Police force and emergency services for their hard work and incredible strength.
So this year, my Autumn Equinox celebration is one of genuine thanksgiving and gratitude.
I am grateful that I was wrong about people in general and give thanks that I was wrong.
I am grateful that I live in a place where this is how we react to things like this.
I am guiltily thankful that my family were safe although I can't say that anyone is unaffected by it.
I am grateful that for the most part, this has caused a huge shift in what ordinary people will and won't tolerate with regards to casual racism and hate speech.
I am grateful that our Government has used common sense in tightening up gun laws and gun licensing and done it quickly.
I am grateful that as a nation, we're being held up as a beacon of sense and respect by the rest of the world.
I am grateful.
Blessings
Debbie
Thursday, 7 March 2019
Self-examination and Doubt
Every so often, I get to wondering about the magic I have performed.
I wonder if the results I have gotten are real. Rather, I wonder if my actions and spells worked have had any effect at all to achieve the results that have occurred. I wonder if the ending would have been the same whether I did anything or not. Do I do these things as a way to fool myself that I'm actually doing anything useful? Am I using confirmation bias to justify the things I do?
Then I wonder if the results happen the way I wanted them, does it matter?
I am a firm believer in brutal self-honesty. I believe most magical journeys will include some aspect of this if the practitioner is to grow as a person, to be fair, most life journeys need this if anyone is to grow as a person.
The times when we look back over past events and ask ourselves how we could have done things differently, take responsibility for the times when we cast ourselves in the role of victim instead of perpetrator and the times when we realise that perhaps our own poor choices led us up that sorry path to an unpleasant event in our lives. Equally, it is important to recognise when things weren't your fault, when there was nothing useful you could have done and to forgive yourself for what you think you should have done but didn't.
There seems to be a popular idea that you should just let everything go, forget about it and move on. I dislike this concept intensely. It gives no closure, it gives no opportunity to learn from your mistakes or even to recognise that you made them and it gives no chance for you to grow into a better you.
The down side to doing this kind of work on yourself is that it can lead to doubts. Doubt in your abilities, doubt in your sense of self-worth and doubt in everything about yourself. As I started this talking about magic, let's also add doubt in your ability to create change in the world and perform successful magic.
Doubt is the magic killer.
Like the Bene Gesserit Litany Against Fear from the Dune series by Frank Herbert, doubt is destruction. For those unfamiliar with this classic work of science fiction:
Doubt is the magic killer. Doubt eats at your confidence to achieve results, doubt eats away at your purpose until the suggestions doubt makes replace your purpose. This isn't usually a conscious thing, this is the "what ifs" taking over. Doubt is failure. Facing your doubts and freeing yourself from doubts isn't necessarily as easy as allowing them to pass over and through you.
When I have a bout of self-examination and exploring past events I usually focus on the things that went wrong. The catastrophic and painful. I often forget about or gloss over my successes. This is where doubt is able to creep in.
Look equally at what went well. What do you think you did that made this event a success? How can you build that into more successes? Can you reasonably expect that to work again or will it need some tweaking to continue the momentum?
They don't have to be big successes. Some will seem like small ones until you weigh up what the opposite effect would have been. Any success is as valuable and equally a learning opportunity just as much as a mistake would have been.
So when I'm in my "what if all my magic is me using superstition to fool myself that I make a difference" headspace, I remember the time that every car in my street was broken into and siphoned for petrol except mine, which I'd foolishly left unlocked in my driveway overnight. I remember when a stalker suddenly seemed to forget about me altogether. I remember when a friend's father who was not expected to last the week surprised the medical staff in the hospital by getting well and is still going strong months later.
It genuinely might be purely coincidence, I accept that. But I got the results I wanted so does it matter?
Blessings
Debbie
I wonder if the results I have gotten are real. Rather, I wonder if my actions and spells worked have had any effect at all to achieve the results that have occurred. I wonder if the ending would have been the same whether I did anything or not. Do I do these things as a way to fool myself that I'm actually doing anything useful? Am I using confirmation bias to justify the things I do?
Then I wonder if the results happen the way I wanted them, does it matter?
I am a firm believer in brutal self-honesty. I believe most magical journeys will include some aspect of this if the practitioner is to grow as a person, to be fair, most life journeys need this if anyone is to grow as a person.
The times when we look back over past events and ask ourselves how we could have done things differently, take responsibility for the times when we cast ourselves in the role of victim instead of perpetrator and the times when we realise that perhaps our own poor choices led us up that sorry path to an unpleasant event in our lives. Equally, it is important to recognise when things weren't your fault, when there was nothing useful you could have done and to forgive yourself for what you think you should have done but didn't.
There seems to be a popular idea that you should just let everything go, forget about it and move on. I dislike this concept intensely. It gives no closure, it gives no opportunity to learn from your mistakes or even to recognise that you made them and it gives no chance for you to grow into a better you.
The down side to doing this kind of work on yourself is that it can lead to doubts. Doubt in your abilities, doubt in your sense of self-worth and doubt in everything about yourself. As I started this talking about magic, let's also add doubt in your ability to create change in the world and perform successful magic.
Doubt is the magic killer.
Like the Bene Gesserit Litany Against Fear from the Dune series by Frank Herbert, doubt is destruction. For those unfamiliar with this classic work of science fiction:
I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.As an affirmation or mantra, this is not particularly useful. Fear is the main concept focused on and emphasised and this will build fear. So I'm not suggesting that this be reworded to use doubt instead of fear. But the way fear is talked about in this quote is useful for discussion purposes.
Doubt is the magic killer. Doubt eats at your confidence to achieve results, doubt eats away at your purpose until the suggestions doubt makes replace your purpose. This isn't usually a conscious thing, this is the "what ifs" taking over. Doubt is failure. Facing your doubts and freeing yourself from doubts isn't necessarily as easy as allowing them to pass over and through you.
When I have a bout of self-examination and exploring past events I usually focus on the things that went wrong. The catastrophic and painful. I often forget about or gloss over my successes. This is where doubt is able to creep in.
Look equally at what went well. What do you think you did that made this event a success? How can you build that into more successes? Can you reasonably expect that to work again or will it need some tweaking to continue the momentum?
They don't have to be big successes. Some will seem like small ones until you weigh up what the opposite effect would have been. Any success is as valuable and equally a learning opportunity just as much as a mistake would have been.
So when I'm in my "what if all my magic is me using superstition to fool myself that I make a difference" headspace, I remember the time that every car in my street was broken into and siphoned for petrol except mine, which I'd foolishly left unlocked in my driveway overnight. I remember when a stalker suddenly seemed to forget about me altogether. I remember when a friend's father who was not expected to last the week surprised the medical staff in the hospital by getting well and is still going strong months later.
It genuinely might be purely coincidence, I accept that. But I got the results I wanted so does it matter?
Blessings
Debbie
Saturday, 16 February 2019
I am Grumpy.
Very grumpy.
I had noticed that a couple of my facebook groups were missing from my feed. I wasn't overly active in either group so it wasn't a big deal, but I was bored so I went looking for them. I couldn't find them at all. I hadn't just been booted from the groups, I had also been blocked.
That's not something you could say was a facebook glitch, that requires someone to go out of their way to tick a few boxes.
As I had been more of a lurker than someone who comments anything controversial in both of these groups, I was more confused. I couldn't have said anything that upset anyone, since I hadn't said anything at all in either group for weeks.
I reached out to one of the admins from one of the groups to find out why. I wasn't certain if I cared enough to rejoin the group, but I was curious about my removal.
That admin did some digging and came back to tell me I had some haters that claimed I was trying to shut down groups. I was banned and blocked because of that, without anyone coming to ask me what the story was. She went on to ask if I'd heard of a certain person, let's call her Ms W, who was the second in command in a very large group. I had never heard of Ms W and I have had nothing whatsoever to do with that group since the previous (late) owner went on a massive power trip and spent a lot of time and energy hunting down people by their associations and trying to have them banned from everywhere.
She told me that Ms W had posted all about me in a group specifically for admins and mods of pagan groups. I admin several pagan groups, I applied to join.
I was accepted and fairly quickly found the post. Up to that point, I had assumed that I was only one of the accused and that it was really about a plagiarism and copyright theft watchdog group I'm a member of. Apparently it wasn't. The post started with my profile picture, a link to my profile page, claims that I got a group or two shut down by reporting copyright violations and warnings to be careful of me.
Now if I'd done it, I wouldn't have an issue. Shit yeah, boot me for standing up for the authors who you are stealing from, you miserable pieces of filth. I'd be owning it and damned proud.
But I didn't.
I only heard of these groups after they'd been shut down.
The first came to my attention when someone in one of my groups asked if anyone knew what had happened to it. I went looking and found a new incarnation (the third as it turns out). I went back and shared the link with the person who'd been looking.
Another friend was already in this new incarnation of the group and they sent me screenshots of their files section. Eight pages of screenshots. The files section contained lots and lots of pdf copies of books that were still under copyright.
So I passed this on to the watchdog group. There are plenty of authors and people from publishers in there. If they saw their work, they could request its removal and report it if that didn't happen. My part was done.
A lot of people don't seem to understand that only the copyright owner can take action of any kind. They are the only person who has the right and ability to say "this is mine and you do not have permission to be distributing it". They are the only person who can file a report for copyright violations, on facebook and anywhere else on the internet. They are the only person who can file a DMCA and have a website taken down.
For me to report copyright violations, it would have to be all my own work. I have written only one book and had one piece included in an anthology.
It takes more than one report for facebook to take action like this. It takes multiple reports before they'll look closer and decide you're clearly a problem and repeat offender.
Through circumstances in which I was merely a spectator, the files in the new group were removed. Great. Issue resolved.
The other group only came to my attention when someone posted about them in the watchdog group. The owner of the second group was a member of the watchdog group and was called out about his so called Library. He made his group secret and blocked the admins of the watchdog group. This got him booted from the group. But not before he'd gone through the entire membership of that group and individually blocked all the members.
Well, he must have missed some because I know of at least one who is still in his group. I've seen more screenshots of the paranoia he's taken to the new group, individually interviewing each new member before they're allowed in.
So here are two groups that I apparently had shut down by reporting copyright theft to facebook. Copyrights I had no right or ability to report. Groups I had no knowledge of and had never heard of until after they'd been reported.
So I commented on the post naming me in this Admin group. This post that had apparently been doing the rounds of admin groups for a couple of weeks. I rather politely (given the circumstances) defended myself. I pointed out that only the copyright holder could report these things.
My comments were liked by some of that group's Admins. I read through the rest of the group.
It appeared that an accusation of some kind of wrong-doing was all that was required for many of these admins to remove you from their own individual groups. I saw one case that included proof and that was pretty awful. The rest were "This person did that in my group" with a link to their profile. This was then followed by various claims of "Eww, I recommend empaths and sensitives don't go and look" or "Thanks, removed from my group".
Gossip and rumour were that was needed for these people to decide to remove someone from their groups. No kind of proof was provided or needed most of the time. Hearsay is enough for hanging.
I noticed a subthread going on in the thread about me, but I was having problems opening it to see what was being said. I kept getting messages that said "Something has gone wrong. Please try again later."
It took some time, (I think there was some kind of weird glitch on my phone that made it seem stranger,) but I discovered I'd been removed from this group and blocked. My friends had been removed from the group and blocked. One commented on the thread and managed to get a screenshot before she was removed and blocked. My comments where I defended myself had been deleted.
Somewhat ironically, the friend that got screenshots, posted on her page to warn people about this group. The first comment was from someone else saying the first group was absolutely shut down for illegal pdfs. She'd emailed several authors and publishers herself and sent them links to that group. It's a public post, anyone who chooses to stalk her profile can see all of it. I'm really hoping that someone is going to go looking.
This is the type of person that is running many facebook groups. They aren't interested in finding out the truth of an issue, they'll believe anything of anybody. The more salacious, the better. They're happy to believe the worst without proof. I'll lay money that they're the ones who require "negative" people leave their bad vibes at the doors of their respective groups too.
What I find even worse is that I'm a problem for wanting copyright laws respected. If these groups weren't breaking the law they would have nothing at all to worry about, even if I was the person doing the reporting.
This is a very sad state of affairs. The so-called leaders in these groups are childish gossips, looking for an opportunity to see the worst in their membership, sharing hearsay and rumours and finding more fault in wanting to uphold the law than in breaking it.
This has left me with quite a sour taste in my mouth. I am disappointed in the Pagan community for allowing this and most of all, I am grumpy.
I am very grumpy.
I had noticed that a couple of my facebook groups were missing from my feed. I wasn't overly active in either group so it wasn't a big deal, but I was bored so I went looking for them. I couldn't find them at all. I hadn't just been booted from the groups, I had also been blocked.
That's not something you could say was a facebook glitch, that requires someone to go out of their way to tick a few boxes.
As I had been more of a lurker than someone who comments anything controversial in both of these groups, I was more confused. I couldn't have said anything that upset anyone, since I hadn't said anything at all in either group for weeks.
I reached out to one of the admins from one of the groups to find out why. I wasn't certain if I cared enough to rejoin the group, but I was curious about my removal.
That admin did some digging and came back to tell me I had some haters that claimed I was trying to shut down groups. I was banned and blocked because of that, without anyone coming to ask me what the story was. She went on to ask if I'd heard of a certain person, let's call her Ms W, who was the second in command in a very large group. I had never heard of Ms W and I have had nothing whatsoever to do with that group since the previous (late) owner went on a massive power trip and spent a lot of time and energy hunting down people by their associations and trying to have them banned from everywhere.
She told me that Ms W had posted all about me in a group specifically for admins and mods of pagan groups. I admin several pagan groups, I applied to join.
I was accepted and fairly quickly found the post. Up to that point, I had assumed that I was only one of the accused and that it was really about a plagiarism and copyright theft watchdog group I'm a member of. Apparently it wasn't. The post started with my profile picture, a link to my profile page, claims that I got a group or two shut down by reporting copyright violations and warnings to be careful of me.
Now if I'd done it, I wouldn't have an issue. Shit yeah, boot me for standing up for the authors who you are stealing from, you miserable pieces of filth. I'd be owning it and damned proud.
But I didn't.
I only heard of these groups after they'd been shut down.
The first came to my attention when someone in one of my groups asked if anyone knew what had happened to it. I went looking and found a new incarnation (the third as it turns out). I went back and shared the link with the person who'd been looking.
Another friend was already in this new incarnation of the group and they sent me screenshots of their files section. Eight pages of screenshots. The files section contained lots and lots of pdf copies of books that were still under copyright.
So I passed this on to the watchdog group. There are plenty of authors and people from publishers in there. If they saw their work, they could request its removal and report it if that didn't happen. My part was done.
A lot of people don't seem to understand that only the copyright owner can take action of any kind. They are the only person who has the right and ability to say "this is mine and you do not have permission to be distributing it". They are the only person who can file a report for copyright violations, on facebook and anywhere else on the internet. They are the only person who can file a DMCA and have a website taken down.
For me to report copyright violations, it would have to be all my own work. I have written only one book and had one piece included in an anthology.
It takes more than one report for facebook to take action like this. It takes multiple reports before they'll look closer and decide you're clearly a problem and repeat offender.
Through circumstances in which I was merely a spectator, the files in the new group were removed. Great. Issue resolved.
The other group only came to my attention when someone posted about them in the watchdog group. The owner of the second group was a member of the watchdog group and was called out about his so called Library. He made his group secret and blocked the admins of the watchdog group. This got him booted from the group. But not before he'd gone through the entire membership of that group and individually blocked all the members.
Well, he must have missed some because I know of at least one who is still in his group. I've seen more screenshots of the paranoia he's taken to the new group, individually interviewing each new member before they're allowed in.
So here are two groups that I apparently had shut down by reporting copyright theft to facebook. Copyrights I had no right or ability to report. Groups I had no knowledge of and had never heard of until after they'd been reported.
So I commented on the post naming me in this Admin group. This post that had apparently been doing the rounds of admin groups for a couple of weeks. I rather politely (given the circumstances) defended myself. I pointed out that only the copyright holder could report these things.
My comments were liked by some of that group's Admins. I read through the rest of the group.
It appeared that an accusation of some kind of wrong-doing was all that was required for many of these admins to remove you from their own individual groups. I saw one case that included proof and that was pretty awful. The rest were "This person did that in my group" with a link to their profile. This was then followed by various claims of "Eww, I recommend empaths and sensitives don't go and look" or "Thanks, removed from my group".
Gossip and rumour were that was needed for these people to decide to remove someone from their groups. No kind of proof was provided or needed most of the time. Hearsay is enough for hanging.
I noticed a subthread going on in the thread about me, but I was having problems opening it to see what was being said. I kept getting messages that said "Something has gone wrong. Please try again later."
It took some time, (I think there was some kind of weird glitch on my phone that made it seem stranger,) but I discovered I'd been removed from this group and blocked. My friends had been removed from the group and blocked. One commented on the thread and managed to get a screenshot before she was removed and blocked. My comments where I defended myself had been deleted.
Somewhat ironically, the friend that got screenshots, posted on her page to warn people about this group. The first comment was from someone else saying the first group was absolutely shut down for illegal pdfs. She'd emailed several authors and publishers herself and sent them links to that group. It's a public post, anyone who chooses to stalk her profile can see all of it. I'm really hoping that someone is going to go looking.
This is the type of person that is running many facebook groups. They aren't interested in finding out the truth of an issue, they'll believe anything of anybody. The more salacious, the better. They're happy to believe the worst without proof. I'll lay money that they're the ones who require "negative" people leave their bad vibes at the doors of their respective groups too.
What I find even worse is that I'm a problem for wanting copyright laws respected. If these groups weren't breaking the law they would have nothing at all to worry about, even if I was the person doing the reporting.
This is a very sad state of affairs. The so-called leaders in these groups are childish gossips, looking for an opportunity to see the worst in their membership, sharing hearsay and rumours and finding more fault in wanting to uphold the law than in breaking it.
This has left me with quite a sour taste in my mouth. I am disappointed in the Pagan community for allowing this and most of all, I am grumpy.
I am very grumpy.
Wednesday, 15 August 2018
Bread magic
While doing some research for something else today, I came across a reference to Bread magic. There was one small example, but nothing more.
That example was blessed bread broken into quarters and placed in the corners of a barn to protect the stored crops.
There was so much more that could have been suggested under this heading, so many ideas that I have and things others have spoken about. Why was this not included? So I have chosen to address that lack.
Bread (in various forms) has long been used in ritual and religious ceremony as well as having strong cultural meanings. The word companion comes from Latin com - "with" and panis - "bread". In Central and Eastern Europe, offering guests bread and salt is part of a welcoming ceremony and has been written about in plenty of medieval culture fiction books as a way of ensuring guest rights and responsibilities.
The phrase "to break bread" with someone is commonly used to describe not just a meal shared but also a sense of camaraderie, of meaningful connection, of friendships formed or maintained.
In Abrahamic religions, bread has significance. From eating Matzo at Passover to the bread of the Eucharist, bread features strongly. In Islam, bread is representative of all food in general. In Ancient Egypt, bread was left as offerings to Gods and ancestors as well as being symbolic of all food.
In many Pagan Traditions, bread is a common offering for Gods, spirits and ancestors. It's sometimes part of the cakes and ale commonly at the end of ritual.
The process of making bread has so many opportunities for magical work. Getting the yeast started and frothy - a wish could be made or a purpose declared with the sugar and yeast and visualised as growing with the froth and bubbles.
I find kneading my dough to be quite a meditative process even when I'm not adding magic. So using it for raising energy seems like an obvious step.
Shaping the dough is where, for me, the magic really comes to life. Someone has hurt you? A bread poppet, possibly stuffed with other things, then left out for the birds to peck to bits. Want to draw something to you? Shape the dough into a sigil or representation of what you want to bring into your life. Consuming the bread is bringing it more literally into your life and yourself. The possibilities for this are limited only by your imagination. Make a protective sigil out of bread, varnish it and keep it stored forever. Create a blessing for your crops and bury it in your garden. Some healing magic? Add some beneficial (and culinary) herbs to your dough and eat your way to good health - or gift it to someone who needs it.
We can't forget Lammas, quite literally a Bread Festival as Lammas comes from Loaf Mass. Although it was originally tied to the first grain harvest, for many who are not in an agricultural setting, Lammas is all about baking bread and breaking bread. Many modern pagans have their own bread recipes and associated bread magic for Lammas.
There are often bread recipes offered for each Sabbat on many blogs, websites and in books. Many seem to have little association with the Sabbat except perhaps in some subtle way known only to whoever is publishing it. That said, I would still encourage trying the recipes and seeing if they work for you.
Have some fun with bread and use your imagination!
Blessings
Debbie
That example was blessed bread broken into quarters and placed in the corners of a barn to protect the stored crops.
There was so much more that could have been suggested under this heading, so many ideas that I have and things others have spoken about. Why was this not included? So I have chosen to address that lack.
Bread in History and Culture
Bread (in various forms) has long been used in ritual and religious ceremony as well as having strong cultural meanings. The word companion comes from Latin com - "with" and panis - "bread". In Central and Eastern Europe, offering guests bread and salt is part of a welcoming ceremony and has been written about in plenty of medieval culture fiction books as a way of ensuring guest rights and responsibilities.
The phrase "to break bread" with someone is commonly used to describe not just a meal shared but also a sense of camaraderie, of meaningful connection, of friendships formed or maintained.
In Abrahamic religions, bread has significance. From eating Matzo at Passover to the bread of the Eucharist, bread features strongly. In Islam, bread is representative of all food in general. In Ancient Egypt, bread was left as offerings to Gods and ancestors as well as being symbolic of all food.
In many Pagan Traditions, bread is a common offering for Gods, spirits and ancestors. It's sometimes part of the cakes and ale commonly at the end of ritual.
Making Bread
The process of making bread has so many opportunities for magical work. Getting the yeast started and frothy - a wish could be made or a purpose declared with the sugar and yeast and visualised as growing with the froth and bubbles.
I find kneading my dough to be quite a meditative process even when I'm not adding magic. So using it for raising energy seems like an obvious step.
Shaping the dough is where, for me, the magic really comes to life. Someone has hurt you? A bread poppet, possibly stuffed with other things, then left out for the birds to peck to bits. Want to draw something to you? Shape the dough into a sigil or representation of what you want to bring into your life. Consuming the bread is bringing it more literally into your life and yourself. The possibilities for this are limited only by your imagination. Make a protective sigil out of bread, varnish it and keep it stored forever. Create a blessing for your crops and bury it in your garden. Some healing magic? Add some beneficial (and culinary) herbs to your dough and eat your way to good health - or gift it to someone who needs it.
Lammas
We can't forget Lammas, quite literally a Bread Festival as Lammas comes from Loaf Mass. Although it was originally tied to the first grain harvest, for many who are not in an agricultural setting, Lammas is all about baking bread and breaking bread. Many modern pagans have their own bread recipes and associated bread magic for Lammas.
There are often bread recipes offered for each Sabbat on many blogs, websites and in books. Many seem to have little association with the Sabbat except perhaps in some subtle way known only to whoever is publishing it. That said, I would still encourage trying the recipes and seeing if they work for you.
Have some fun with bread and use your imagination!
Blessings
Debbie
Thursday, 9 August 2018
How Piracy Has Nearly Stopped Me From Writing
Piracy of copyrighted works has been an issue for as long as the internet has been around. When I was a teenager, if we wanted a "free copy" of a book, we either had to steal it outright (or pay the fine for not returning it to the library) or photocopy the entire book - which wasn't really free as we had to pay 20c per page at the library. If you wanted music, you had to tape it off the radio and hope the announcer wouldn't talk over too much of the song, or have a friend who'd bought it on vinyl or tape and copy it onto a tape. It wasn't as simple as an almost instant download.
Now there are pirate websites offering thousands of pdf copies of books for free. Some have been closed down, but I believe for each one that is removed, three more spring up overnight. Some have even started the practice of having reviews and ratings for the pirate works "So at least the author gets some benefit". Author Michelle Harrison took on a pirate site recently and received some rather aggressive and angry emails in response. You can see some of it in her Twitter and a write up about it in The Guardian.
I find myself in a very messed up headspace over the issue of piracy.
On the one hand, I self-published. I never offered my work to a publishing house, I wanted to have total control over my work. Perhaps this was naive of me, I don't know. But I kept my words and my voice intact, I kept my meanings intact and clear, I chose the title, the cover design and the font. All things that another author I know didn't get and it put her off writing forever. The title her publisher gave her book changed the slant of the entire thing and set her up for a world of hurt.
The bio and book blurb that my publisher had someone write for my approval was awful. It was immediately clear that they'd read none of my book past the category. I felt vindicated in my choices.
By self-publishing, I have paid a lot of money to have my work out there. It is more money than I would normally have freely available. I borrowed to have some print copies of my own and while I paid a "discount", you can buy my book on Amazon for little more than I paid for my discounted copies. I paid for marketing. I paid to have copies sent for review - reviews that I don't know if they've ever happened, I've seen nothing of those reviews.
I knew that writing for a Pagan audience would never make me rich. Janet Farrar commented in a group I'm in that even in their hey-day, she and Stewart lived below the poverty line and often had to resort to "dumpster diving" to be able to eat. I went into this with no illusions or delusions about imminent wealth and fame.
However, I didn't think it unreasonable to hope to break even. I expected that I would at least earn enough to pay back the money I had borrowed.
I'm not even close. After almost four years, I think I've had maybe 10% of what I spent back in royalties.
So, I went into a bit of a funk.
My book is obviously crap. My friends love it, but they're my friends, they're supposed to support me and things I do. I'm sure many of them love it purely out of loyalty. Then I started getting calls at home on my unlisted landline. From publishing companies. Asking for me by my married name and not my pen name. Wanting to "invest" in my book. They hadn't read it, didn't know it had been published, didn't know my pen name. They already had my newish email address. Their "investing" in my work would cost me twice what I've already paid. I've clearly been put on a list by my publisher that's been sent to other self-publishing companies and hybrid publishing companies. I'm not making them enough money so they're trying to pass me on to someone else.
My funk deepened.
I'm 45,000 words into a second book. I've spent years reading and researching so that this one can have some authority behind my assertions, it has citations and a big healthy bibliography so readers can learn more from smarter people than me. It's been a huge labour of love, endless hours of reading, even if three weeks of reading and note-taking ends up making a single paragraph.
Why would I bother? It's obviously a waste of my time and no one will want to read it.
I find facebook groups that have hundreds and sometimes thousands of pirated pdfs, they never have my book. What's wrong with my book? There's other fluff in there that I wouldn't use to prop up a table leg, is mine worse than that?
Then I found a few of those pirate websites that have ratings and reviews. There are thousands of reviews and ratings on my book there. Thousands. It's seems to be sitting at 3.8 to 4.6 stars. If each person who left a review had even paid 50c towards my book, I would have broken even several times over. I would have money to put towards the book I'm working on. I would have been able to buy a few more of the books that I want to read, reference and cite in my current work.
My husband asked me what had been my purpose in writing my book. Did I want to make money or did I want it to be read? I wanted it to be read, I wanted the information out there. Maybe those people wouldn't have read it if they'd had to pay for it? I don't know. I also don't know if that makes up for the missed royalties.
But I'm still left with a publisher who clearly doesn't want me, unsure if I can finance this next book I've spent years working on. I'm unsure if I want to continue. I don't know if it's all worth it.
Now there are pirate websites offering thousands of pdf copies of books for free. Some have been closed down, but I believe for each one that is removed, three more spring up overnight. Some have even started the practice of having reviews and ratings for the pirate works "So at least the author gets some benefit". Author Michelle Harrison took on a pirate site recently and received some rather aggressive and angry emails in response. You can see some of it in her Twitter and a write up about it in The Guardian.
I find myself in a very messed up headspace over the issue of piracy.
On the one hand, I self-published. I never offered my work to a publishing house, I wanted to have total control over my work. Perhaps this was naive of me, I don't know. But I kept my words and my voice intact, I kept my meanings intact and clear, I chose the title, the cover design and the font. All things that another author I know didn't get and it put her off writing forever. The title her publisher gave her book changed the slant of the entire thing and set her up for a world of hurt.
The bio and book blurb that my publisher had someone write for my approval was awful. It was immediately clear that they'd read none of my book past the category. I felt vindicated in my choices.
By self-publishing, I have paid a lot of money to have my work out there. It is more money than I would normally have freely available. I borrowed to have some print copies of my own and while I paid a "discount", you can buy my book on Amazon for little more than I paid for my discounted copies. I paid for marketing. I paid to have copies sent for review - reviews that I don't know if they've ever happened, I've seen nothing of those reviews.
I knew that writing for a Pagan audience would never make me rich. Janet Farrar commented in a group I'm in that even in their hey-day, she and Stewart lived below the poverty line and often had to resort to "dumpster diving" to be able to eat. I went into this with no illusions or delusions about imminent wealth and fame.
However, I didn't think it unreasonable to hope to break even. I expected that I would at least earn enough to pay back the money I had borrowed.
I'm not even close. After almost four years, I think I've had maybe 10% of what I spent back in royalties.
So, I went into a bit of a funk.
My book is obviously crap. My friends love it, but they're my friends, they're supposed to support me and things I do. I'm sure many of them love it purely out of loyalty. Then I started getting calls at home on my unlisted landline. From publishing companies. Asking for me by my married name and not my pen name. Wanting to "invest" in my book. They hadn't read it, didn't know it had been published, didn't know my pen name. They already had my newish email address. Their "investing" in my work would cost me twice what I've already paid. I've clearly been put on a list by my publisher that's been sent to other self-publishing companies and hybrid publishing companies. I'm not making them enough money so they're trying to pass me on to someone else.
My funk deepened.
I'm 45,000 words into a second book. I've spent years reading and researching so that this one can have some authority behind my assertions, it has citations and a big healthy bibliography so readers can learn more from smarter people than me. It's been a huge labour of love, endless hours of reading, even if three weeks of reading and note-taking ends up making a single paragraph.
Why would I bother? It's obviously a waste of my time and no one will want to read it.
I find facebook groups that have hundreds and sometimes thousands of pirated pdfs, they never have my book. What's wrong with my book? There's other fluff in there that I wouldn't use to prop up a table leg, is mine worse than that?
Then I found a few of those pirate websites that have ratings and reviews. There are thousands of reviews and ratings on my book there. Thousands. It's seems to be sitting at 3.8 to 4.6 stars. If each person who left a review had even paid 50c towards my book, I would have broken even several times over. I would have money to put towards the book I'm working on. I would have been able to buy a few more of the books that I want to read, reference and cite in my current work.
My husband asked me what had been my purpose in writing my book. Did I want to make money or did I want it to be read? I wanted it to be read, I wanted the information out there. Maybe those people wouldn't have read it if they'd had to pay for it? I don't know. I also don't know if that makes up for the missed royalties.
But I'm still left with a publisher who clearly doesn't want me, unsure if I can finance this next book I've spent years working on. I'm unsure if I want to continue. I don't know if it's all worth it.
Friday, 15 December 2017
Donating to Charity
Most of us like to donate something to Charities where we can and when we can. With Christmas fast approaching it's something that's very much talked about.
This week, a Maori Women's Refuge Charity - The Aunties - spoke out asking that people don't give them tinned tomatoes, chickpeas or lentils.
In an article on Stuff, they explained that they have pantries filled with tinned tomatoes and nothing else and that is not useful to a woman with young children who have just arrived, ripped out of their home, traumatised and grieving.
They point out how much better it is to find out what a charity actually needs and that most publish wish lists that are easily found.
This has led to a sadly predictable uproar. Many people are offended at their pickiness, saying things like "beggars can't be choosers" and "I can make a decent meal out of tinned tomatoes along with x, y and z, why can't you?" and "If you can be picky you're not that needy". Many commenters have sworn off ever donating to Women's Refuge ever again.
I believe this is missing the point. Actually, it's missing several.
Yes, tinned tomatoes are useful and many people (myself included) would go through at least a tin a week. But not on their own. They need meat and onions and herbs to make a bolognese, they need other veges to make a curry, they need bread to go on toast. The article said the pantries were filled with tinned tomatoes and nothing else. The problem is that they have plenty and need the other stuff to make the meals with. Giving them recipes and teaching them how to cook with tinned tomatoes isn't going to make the other necessary ingredients magically appear.
Donating to charities, giving to those in need is supposed to be about what they need not about what you think they should have. It's also supposed to be about compassion for their circumstances not about judging them for not needing what you think they should have.
Donating to charities isn't about you. Feeling good about having helped is supposed to be a side effect. Having your feelings hurt because a charity has asked you not to give something says more about you than it does about that charity. And it says nothing good.
Have a little empathy. This is a Women's Refuge. This is a place where women arrive in the middle of the night with usually small children in tow. They've often just had the crap beaten out of them, they're emotionally drained, they're in shock with a side order of terror because they've finally done something to get them out of that position and they're afraid it won't last or things will get worse because of it and they're trying to keep themselves together for the equally traumatised children. Try putting yourself into that place, try imagining the complete shock and trauma they are going through. Now imagine trying to function well enough to whip up a delicious middle class healthy meal. If you tell me you could do it, I'm going to call you a liar.
It's not as though it's a family at home who are having some rough times and need a food parcel to help them out this week because money's tight and they can't afford to feed their children. This is a totally different situation and unless you've actually been there, you are in no position to judge what they need.
I think everyone's first reaction was to be a little offended. "What do you mean my donation isn't good enough?" In most of my friends, I'm glad to say, they took a step back and examined why they were offended and were good enough people to own it and accept that they were wrong. It's a shame that more people aren't like them.
Blessings
Debbie
This week, a Maori Women's Refuge Charity - The Aunties - spoke out asking that people don't give them tinned tomatoes, chickpeas or lentils.
In an article on Stuff, they explained that they have pantries filled with tinned tomatoes and nothing else and that is not useful to a woman with young children who have just arrived, ripped out of their home, traumatised and grieving.
They point out how much better it is to find out what a charity actually needs and that most publish wish lists that are easily found.
This has led to a sadly predictable uproar. Many people are offended at their pickiness, saying things like "beggars can't be choosers" and "I can make a decent meal out of tinned tomatoes along with x, y and z, why can't you?" and "If you can be picky you're not that needy". Many commenters have sworn off ever donating to Women's Refuge ever again.
I believe this is missing the point. Actually, it's missing several.
Yes, tinned tomatoes are useful and many people (myself included) would go through at least a tin a week. But not on their own. They need meat and onions and herbs to make a bolognese, they need other veges to make a curry, they need bread to go on toast. The article said the pantries were filled with tinned tomatoes and nothing else. The problem is that they have plenty and need the other stuff to make the meals with. Giving them recipes and teaching them how to cook with tinned tomatoes isn't going to make the other necessary ingredients magically appear.
Donating to charities, giving to those in need is supposed to be about what they need not about what you think they should have. It's also supposed to be about compassion for their circumstances not about judging them for not needing what you think they should have.
Donating to charities isn't about you. Feeling good about having helped is supposed to be a side effect. Having your feelings hurt because a charity has asked you not to give something says more about you than it does about that charity. And it says nothing good.
Have a little empathy. This is a Women's Refuge. This is a place where women arrive in the middle of the night with usually small children in tow. They've often just had the crap beaten out of them, they're emotionally drained, they're in shock with a side order of terror because they've finally done something to get them out of that position and they're afraid it won't last or things will get worse because of it and they're trying to keep themselves together for the equally traumatised children. Try putting yourself into that place, try imagining the complete shock and trauma they are going through. Now imagine trying to function well enough to whip up a delicious middle class healthy meal. If you tell me you could do it, I'm going to call you a liar.
It's not as though it's a family at home who are having some rough times and need a food parcel to help them out this week because money's tight and they can't afford to feed their children. This is a totally different situation and unless you've actually been there, you are in no position to judge what they need.
I think everyone's first reaction was to be a little offended. "What do you mean my donation isn't good enough?" In most of my friends, I'm glad to say, they took a step back and examined why they were offended and were good enough people to own it and accept that they were wrong. It's a shame that more people aren't like them.
Blessings
Debbie
What Makes An Elder?
Elder is a term that gets thrown around a lot. I believe it's a misunderstood and misused word probably 90% of the time. Or perhaps it has too many meanings.
From Dictionary.com
adjective, a compar. of old with eldest as superl.
1. of greater age; older.
2. of higher rank; senior: an elder officer.
3. of or relating to former times; earlier:
Much that was forbidden by elder custom is accepted today.
noun
4. a person who is older or higher in rank than oneself.
5. an aged person.
6. an influential member of a tribe or community, often a chief or ruler; a superior.
7. a presbyter.
8. (in certain Protestant churches) a lay member who is a governing officer, often assisting the pastor in services.
9. Mormon Church. A member of the Melchizedek priesthood.
Okay, so perhaps there are too many meanings for it to be used in a meaningful way. Maybe if we look at it in context.
In the case of the Pagan Community, an elder usually fits meaning number 6 best. An influential member of a tribe or community, often a chief or ruler; a superior. It can fit the 'higher in rank' definition too. Personally, I think it is a combination of these definitions.
An Elder is an older, wiser, experienced member of the community. Someone who can guide and advise. It is a position of respect not one of power, although it is a powerful position in a different sense - influence rather than authority.
Simply being older means next to nothing. Plenty of people come to Paganism later in their lives. Age does not equal experience, knowledge or wisdom. Quite frankly, in our modern times, it doesn't take any great skill to live a reasonably long and healthy life. It's what you've done with that life that counts.
Elder is a term of respect and like respect it is earned.
In some traditions there are criteria to be met before the title of Elder can be conferred. Make no mistake, it is a title and not just a description. It is also a title that is given by the community served by that person and not something you can claim for yourself.
Common requirements are things like having had a leadership role in your community for a reasonable period of time. A Wiccan Elder, as an example, must have attained third degree and led their coven for several years. However, alone, this is not enough in most cases.
Coven experience needs to be balanced with life experience. Someone young, while they might be already wise or an 'old soul' is not going to have the range of experience to provide useful advice or guidance. They haven't had the opportunity to see the long term effects of simple actions.
Some traditions have Eldering ceremonies - Croning and Saging. Usually your second Saturn return is the first criteria for these titles - which puts you roughly mid to late 50s. Although I have heard of events where anyone who had been part of the community for more than 5 years was declared an Elder and given an Eldering ceremony, such ceremonies and claims seem to be treated mostly with the contempt they deserve.
In other traditions, anyone who wants the title is deemed to be unworthy of it. True Elders fight against the title as long and as hard as they are able. They don't want to be put on a pedestal and treated like some precious object, they still want to be in the thick of things, doing important work and creating change.
Degrees and ordinations do not necessarily make an Elder. I know of one lady who claims she has a Masters degree in Wicca. She clearly knows very little about actual Wicca and is a fount of eclectic neo-Wicca cliches and misrepresentations. I found where she got her 'Masters' from - The Universal Life Church - for $32.99 you get sent a copy of Scott Cunningham's Wicca: A Guide for the Solitary Practitioner, a certificate, a bumper sticker and a clergy badge. Or for $13.99 you can buy the certificate alone. There is no study, no tests, no standards to meet and nothing to prove you've done anything more than click a link and enter your credit card details.
Founding a group, on it's own, does not make an Elder. I've personally experienced several groups and organisations (even charitable ones) that have been founded by people hoping to be called Elders, if not now then some day soon. Some may have been created to provide a service to the community, intentions may have been good, but personalities, ego and self-importance make it clear that the good of the community is not the first priority, or that the service being provided is not necessarily needed or wanted by the community.
This becomes worse when the group's name states or implies some sort of overseeing council that speaks for all. American Council of Witches leaps to mind. There have been several attempts to relaunch the 1973 Council whose only achievement was to publish The 13 Principles of Belief before disbanding. Most of these attempts appear to be people who are hoping for their 15 minutes of glory or to impose their own narrow worldview on everyone else. The Council gets filled with people no one has ever heard of, adding their cronies and sycophants. A few years ago, someone named a couple of genuine American Elders as Council members, but without their knowledge or consent and those Elders publicly distanced themselves from it.
There are some wonderful groups out there, doing some wonderful work for the wider community and they do contain some genuine Elders. However, the obvious difference is that those groups work to support and help their communities, quietly in the background. They don't try to speak for them, or force them into a cubbyhole of their own values or throw public tantrums when questioned or challenged in any way. The organisations have had changes of leadership and continued going strong. Their purpose is to serve the community, not their leaders.
Like other titles, Elder has little to no meaning outside of the community being served. In a recent storm in a teacup, a local chap who is largely unheard of even in our tiny community, claimed to be a Pagan Elder and made a statement to the press that upset and offended many in the local community. Five minutes research showed that he might be perhaps a Heathen Elder, although given his age and time in the community, I question that too - however, that's not my community so my opinion rightfully means nothing. Given that most Heathens distance themselves from Pagans and vice versa, how is a Heathen Elder able to claim Pagan Eldership? He founded a group which does provide service to their community. Great work. I'm all for that kind of thing. But as explained above, that alone does not make an Elder and neither does his claiming of the title. Then I noticed in his online group, anyone he promotes to an admin he also grants the title of Elder. Given that one of his groups "Elders" was openly brand new and asking for advice on Beginner's books only two or three years ago, I am horrified.
Being famous or a Big Name Pagan does not automatically make one an Elder, although this is probably the most common way Elders do get named. Some deserve it and their on-going service to the wider community is how they became famous. Others are narcissistic drama queens who seem to believe that any publicity is good publicity when in reality they are harming their wider community more than helping it. There are also demagogues who seem to believe that likes and followers equal proof of how right they are. BNPs can become a cult of personality rather than a positive resource for their community.
So when trying to define an Elder, I find myself thinking of the older folk who have been in the community for a long time. They have seen groups and individuals rise and fall. They have seen the community go through many changes and shifts. Their work may not be obvious or well-known but their experience shines through. They will be the ones who challenge you and sometimes make you uncomfortable or hurt your feelings when they do, but when asked the right way will offer up useful advice - even if it's not what you want to hear at the time. They demand that you own your shit and you can see that they do the same. They will judge, be brutally blunt and direct and sometimes give you more chances than you deserve. They make mistakes and they own them. They don't need anyone else to apologise for them and they won't apologise for anyone else. They accept, even invite, being questioned and challenged because they understand that you never stop learning and at no point does anyone know it all. They don't expect you to follow their advice as gospel, they are not offended if you choose a different option and they won't get pissy and refuse advice next time. They expect you to take it all on board and think for yourself.
I do have a group of wonderful people like this. If I told them I was talking about them as Elders, I dare say I'd be slapped into next week. But they are who I go to for advice. I respect their experience and honour the hard roads most have walked to where they are now.
In doing some research for this blog, I found that I'm not alone in questioning this. The Wild Hunt asked several well-known people in the wider Pagan community the same question. The comments page also raised some valid thoughts and experiences. Some of which I have used in this blog.
Interestingly, I also found this piece by Shauna Aura Knight which goes into the next step of Pagan Elders. Accepted Elders who have become abusive and what can we do about them.
Blessings
Debbie
From Dictionary.com
adjective, a compar. of old with eldest as superl.
1. of greater age; older.
2. of higher rank; senior: an elder officer.
3. of or relating to former times; earlier:
Much that was forbidden by elder custom is accepted today.
noun
4. a person who is older or higher in rank than oneself.
5. an aged person.
6. an influential member of a tribe or community, often a chief or ruler; a superior.
7. a presbyter.
8. (in certain Protestant churches) a lay member who is a governing officer, often assisting the pastor in services.
9. Mormon Church. A member of the Melchizedek priesthood.
Okay, so perhaps there are too many meanings for it to be used in a meaningful way. Maybe if we look at it in context.
In the case of the Pagan Community, an elder usually fits meaning number 6 best. An influential member of a tribe or community, often a chief or ruler; a superior. It can fit the 'higher in rank' definition too. Personally, I think it is a combination of these definitions.
An Elder is an older, wiser, experienced member of the community. Someone who can guide and advise. It is a position of respect not one of power, although it is a powerful position in a different sense - influence rather than authority.
Simply being older means next to nothing. Plenty of people come to Paganism later in their lives. Age does not equal experience, knowledge or wisdom. Quite frankly, in our modern times, it doesn't take any great skill to live a reasonably long and healthy life. It's what you've done with that life that counts.
Elder is a term of respect and like respect it is earned.
In some traditions there are criteria to be met before the title of Elder can be conferred. Make no mistake, it is a title and not just a description. It is also a title that is given by the community served by that person and not something you can claim for yourself.
Common requirements are things like having had a leadership role in your community for a reasonable period of time. A Wiccan Elder, as an example, must have attained third degree and led their coven for several years. However, alone, this is not enough in most cases.
Coven experience needs to be balanced with life experience. Someone young, while they might be already wise or an 'old soul' is not going to have the range of experience to provide useful advice or guidance. They haven't had the opportunity to see the long term effects of simple actions.
Some traditions have Eldering ceremonies - Croning and Saging. Usually your second Saturn return is the first criteria for these titles - which puts you roughly mid to late 50s. Although I have heard of events where anyone who had been part of the community for more than 5 years was declared an Elder and given an Eldering ceremony, such ceremonies and claims seem to be treated mostly with the contempt they deserve.
In other traditions, anyone who wants the title is deemed to be unworthy of it. True Elders fight against the title as long and as hard as they are able. They don't want to be put on a pedestal and treated like some precious object, they still want to be in the thick of things, doing important work and creating change.
Degrees and ordinations do not necessarily make an Elder. I know of one lady who claims she has a Masters degree in Wicca. She clearly knows very little about actual Wicca and is a fount of eclectic neo-Wicca cliches and misrepresentations. I found where she got her 'Masters' from - The Universal Life Church - for $32.99 you get sent a copy of Scott Cunningham's Wicca: A Guide for the Solitary Practitioner, a certificate, a bumper sticker and a clergy badge. Or for $13.99 you can buy the certificate alone. There is no study, no tests, no standards to meet and nothing to prove you've done anything more than click a link and enter your credit card details.
Founding a group, on it's own, does not make an Elder. I've personally experienced several groups and organisations (even charitable ones) that have been founded by people hoping to be called Elders, if not now then some day soon. Some may have been created to provide a service to the community, intentions may have been good, but personalities, ego and self-importance make it clear that the good of the community is not the first priority, or that the service being provided is not necessarily needed or wanted by the community.
This becomes worse when the group's name states or implies some sort of overseeing council that speaks for all. American Council of Witches leaps to mind. There have been several attempts to relaunch the 1973 Council whose only achievement was to publish The 13 Principles of Belief before disbanding. Most of these attempts appear to be people who are hoping for their 15 minutes of glory or to impose their own narrow worldview on everyone else. The Council gets filled with people no one has ever heard of, adding their cronies and sycophants. A few years ago, someone named a couple of genuine American Elders as Council members, but without their knowledge or consent and those Elders publicly distanced themselves from it.
There are some wonderful groups out there, doing some wonderful work for the wider community and they do contain some genuine Elders. However, the obvious difference is that those groups work to support and help their communities, quietly in the background. They don't try to speak for them, or force them into a cubbyhole of their own values or throw public tantrums when questioned or challenged in any way. The organisations have had changes of leadership and continued going strong. Their purpose is to serve the community, not their leaders.
Like other titles, Elder has little to no meaning outside of the community being served. In a recent storm in a teacup, a local chap who is largely unheard of even in our tiny community, claimed to be a Pagan Elder and made a statement to the press that upset and offended many in the local community. Five minutes research showed that he might be perhaps a Heathen Elder, although given his age and time in the community, I question that too - however, that's not my community so my opinion rightfully means nothing. Given that most Heathens distance themselves from Pagans and vice versa, how is a Heathen Elder able to claim Pagan Eldership? He founded a group which does provide service to their community. Great work. I'm all for that kind of thing. But as explained above, that alone does not make an Elder and neither does his claiming of the title. Then I noticed in his online group, anyone he promotes to an admin he also grants the title of Elder. Given that one of his groups "Elders" was openly brand new and asking for advice on Beginner's books only two or three years ago, I am horrified.
Being famous or a Big Name Pagan does not automatically make one an Elder, although this is probably the most common way Elders do get named. Some deserve it and their on-going service to the wider community is how they became famous. Others are narcissistic drama queens who seem to believe that any publicity is good publicity when in reality they are harming their wider community more than helping it. There are also demagogues who seem to believe that likes and followers equal proof of how right they are. BNPs can become a cult of personality rather than a positive resource for their community.
So when trying to define an Elder, I find myself thinking of the older folk who have been in the community for a long time. They have seen groups and individuals rise and fall. They have seen the community go through many changes and shifts. Their work may not be obvious or well-known but their experience shines through. They will be the ones who challenge you and sometimes make you uncomfortable or hurt your feelings when they do, but when asked the right way will offer up useful advice - even if it's not what you want to hear at the time. They demand that you own your shit and you can see that they do the same. They will judge, be brutally blunt and direct and sometimes give you more chances than you deserve. They make mistakes and they own them. They don't need anyone else to apologise for them and they won't apologise for anyone else. They accept, even invite, being questioned and challenged because they understand that you never stop learning and at no point does anyone know it all. They don't expect you to follow their advice as gospel, they are not offended if you choose a different option and they won't get pissy and refuse advice next time. They expect you to take it all on board and think for yourself.
I do have a group of wonderful people like this. If I told them I was talking about them as Elders, I dare say I'd be slapped into next week. But they are who I go to for advice. I respect their experience and honour the hard roads most have walked to where they are now.
In doing some research for this blog, I found that I'm not alone in questioning this. The Wild Hunt asked several well-known people in the wider Pagan community the same question. The comments page also raised some valid thoughts and experiences. Some of which I have used in this blog.
Interestingly, I also found this piece by Shauna Aura Knight which goes into the next step of Pagan Elders. Accepted Elders who have become abusive and what can we do about them.
Blessings
Debbie
Saturday, 25 March 2017
Taking Credit Where It's Not Warranted
I've found within the Pagan and Magical community a tendency for self-aggrandisement. This isn't a new thing, not by any stretch. There have always been the people who are so uber powerful and so much more special than everyone else.
But the one I've noticed the most lately is taking credit for other people's misfortune, or taking credit for surprise or miraculous major events.
As examples, one chap took credit for a storm changing it's predicted path and turning away from a major city, another claimed they'd caused a huge cluster of destructive earthquakes. Another has taken credit for one man's death and another's misfortune.
There was a guy a few years ago (I think I mentioned him in another blog) who rang me to tell me he'd changed the weather so that I had sunshine for a party and was seriously expecting me to thank him. Even though the weather was completely seasonal and fit what had been forecast.
There is also the mass curse of Daesh a year or so ago, it was a public event and because Russia did a bombing run a week or two after the curse, success was claimed.
I've recently had a bad run. I know the causes, they were rooted in choices made years ago and actions taken or not taken way back then. It's not my personal misfortune, it's extremely bad health in someone very dear to me and while it's partially their own fault and partially genetics, it's still very distressing for me.
I find myself reluctant to talk about it though. In many of the places where I would normally be asking for support and would normally get it, I find it difficult to raise. This has hit me on a personal level and I realise that my struggle to ask for support is rooted in fear. I don't want to have it come back to me that anyone I might have upset or offended over the past few years is taking credit for this. And word of that will come back to me, it always does - just because I don't react publicly or obviously doesn't mean I don't know.
I think if I was to hear of someone bragging about how they caused this to happen, I would lose my shit on a spectacular scale. All of the rages and tantrums I've ever had combined could not equal the reaction I would expect to have. I would, in the end, be most likely facing some serious jail time and the loss of everything I hold dear. And I would feel my wrath was justified.
So I don't talk about it with anyone outside of my close inner circle. And it sucks.
I also find myself angry that my fear of other people's narcissistic behaviour and my potential reaction to it holds me back and prevents me from asking for what I need. I am angry mostly at myself for buying into this shit, for letting it get to me before it happens and for overthinking myself into expecting it to happen. It might not, although there are people in my wider circle who have done this sort of thing repeatedly so not being prepared for it would be equally foolish. So I am also pre-emptively angry at the people who have done this in the past who may or may not try it with me this time. Even though right now, I haven't given them the opportunity to be good people to me, I feel as though I'm punishing them (to some extent) because of what they might do.
And that sucks.
I find it a challenging and painful thing to talk about anyway. I often cry when I am talking about it with the few I do trust enough to talk to. I hate showing any weakness, I hate not being strong enough to cope with this. I'm everyone's rock, I'm always okay, I'm not okay with not being okay. I don't do vulnerability when anyone else can see, it's a secret and private thing that I am always a little ashamed of and embarrassed about. Yes I've been lectured about it and I know that's not healthy and I am working on it.
And that sucks some more.
I sometimes wonder if this is part of the Keep Silent part of the pyramid/cornerstones/all sorts of different names depending on who you're talking to. Even if you believe your magic caused this result, claiming it publicly makes you a wanker. Save yourself the ridicule. Especially if it's equally likely that it was nothing at all to do with you.
Blessings
Debbie
But the one I've noticed the most lately is taking credit for other people's misfortune, or taking credit for surprise or miraculous major events.
As examples, one chap took credit for a storm changing it's predicted path and turning away from a major city, another claimed they'd caused a huge cluster of destructive earthquakes. Another has taken credit for one man's death and another's misfortune.
There was a guy a few years ago (I think I mentioned him in another blog) who rang me to tell me he'd changed the weather so that I had sunshine for a party and was seriously expecting me to thank him. Even though the weather was completely seasonal and fit what had been forecast.
There is also the mass curse of Daesh a year or so ago, it was a public event and because Russia did a bombing run a week or two after the curse, success was claimed.
I've recently had a bad run. I know the causes, they were rooted in choices made years ago and actions taken or not taken way back then. It's not my personal misfortune, it's extremely bad health in someone very dear to me and while it's partially their own fault and partially genetics, it's still very distressing for me.
I find myself reluctant to talk about it though. In many of the places where I would normally be asking for support and would normally get it, I find it difficult to raise. This has hit me on a personal level and I realise that my struggle to ask for support is rooted in fear. I don't want to have it come back to me that anyone I might have upset or offended over the past few years is taking credit for this. And word of that will come back to me, it always does - just because I don't react publicly or obviously doesn't mean I don't know.
I think if I was to hear of someone bragging about how they caused this to happen, I would lose my shit on a spectacular scale. All of the rages and tantrums I've ever had combined could not equal the reaction I would expect to have. I would, in the end, be most likely facing some serious jail time and the loss of everything I hold dear. And I would feel my wrath was justified.
So I don't talk about it with anyone outside of my close inner circle. And it sucks.
I also find myself angry that my fear of other people's narcissistic behaviour and my potential reaction to it holds me back and prevents me from asking for what I need. I am angry mostly at myself for buying into this shit, for letting it get to me before it happens and for overthinking myself into expecting it to happen. It might not, although there are people in my wider circle who have done this sort of thing repeatedly so not being prepared for it would be equally foolish. So I am also pre-emptively angry at the people who have done this in the past who may or may not try it with me this time. Even though right now, I haven't given them the opportunity to be good people to me, I feel as though I'm punishing them (to some extent) because of what they might do.
And that sucks.
I find it a challenging and painful thing to talk about anyway. I often cry when I am talking about it with the few I do trust enough to talk to. I hate showing any weakness, I hate not being strong enough to cope with this. I'm everyone's rock, I'm always okay, I'm not okay with not being okay. I don't do vulnerability when anyone else can see, it's a secret and private thing that I am always a little ashamed of and embarrassed about. Yes I've been lectured about it and I know that's not healthy and I am working on it.
And that sucks some more.
I sometimes wonder if this is part of the Keep Silent part of the pyramid/cornerstones/all sorts of different names depending on who you're talking to. Even if you believe your magic caused this result, claiming it publicly makes you a wanker. Save yourself the ridicule. Especially if it's equally likely that it was nothing at all to do with you.
Blessings
Debbie
Monday, 20 March 2017
Hexing, Jinxing, Cursing and Binding
The Mass Binding of Donald Trump came up on a local group that I'm in.
As you can probably imagine, all the usual pearl-clutching and wailing about the consequences of taking part followed. I patiently tried to explain the origins of threefold law, that it's not that simple and that it's a belief you need to buy into to have an effect. I received a terribly funny condescending response from a girl younger than my oldest daughter telling me that it didn't matter what I believed, it was a law and would happen whether I believed it or not.
Such things continued rather predictably, apparently they're entitled to their beliefs and I'm not entitled to mine if they're different and so on. Then one absolute gem of a respondent piped up. I should trust him, my soul is in danger and I need to do some serious cleansing, my soul will thank me for it. Blah blah blah.
Then I got a rather arrogant and terribly funny private message demanding I explain myself (because Hexing is Baaaaaaad) or he'd be forced to name and shame me and ban me from anything to do with their society.
It was the best belly laugh I've had in about a year. I am open that I will hex and curse and bind where I see it's needed. I have never had a backlash or bad consequences follow. I am also smart enough not to blame the slightest little bit of bad luck or misfortune on anything than what actually caused it. I don't see a hoofprint and expect to see a unicorn. So, since I am so open about it, just who is he planning to name and shame me to? What is this society that I'll be banned from? Who is this guy anyway and why should I change or edit myself to suit him?
I've been active in our local community for most of the last 15 years. I ran coffee meets for about 10 years, I've run several Pagan Festivals and I've had the only Pagan and Witchcraft stall at the Body Mind Spirit Festival for 12 years - although to be fair, there was a new one at the last festival. I was part of a group that ran open sabbats and esbats in Christchurch.
As such, I know most of the people worth knowing in our local community. Before his arrogant assumption of group conscience, I had never heard of him.
I have met busybodies of his sort before, they believe they have some sort of responsibility for the "spiritual wellbeing" of a group, they are self-appointed in this role and are usually overbearing, filled with expectations of gratitude for providing a service that is neither needed or wanted. I have never seen it end well for the person concerned.
Anyway, because it was so politely requested (*eyeroll*) I have decided to "explain myself", just so that we're completely clear on my views.
I will hex, curse and bind where I see a need. However, that need must be genuine and not something I do lightly. A decent curse or binding takes planning and work, it takes my time and energy and for me to bother with one requires more than boredom and feeling a little offended. I am not going to throw down because someone insulted me on the internet or hurt my feelings in some way. I'm a big girl, I can cope without resorting to petty revenge.
I am specific in my curses and bindings. I make it clear exactly what outcome I am working for. Whether that is the target suddenly starts to take responsibility for their past deeds, or they are unable to speak falsehood or gossip regarding specific people or that they get horribly sick from their continued alcohol abuse or they see people they've been favouring for who they really are.
While I have worked on behalf of others and will continue to do so, that also requires an explanation of why it's needed and for me to believe that it's necessary. I don't do it for just anyone either, only people who are important to me in some way.
The only way a curse ever backfires or has a backlash is when you believe it will and you build it into your magic unconsciously. Or when you plan and craft your spell badly without proper attention to detail. There may be unintended consequences that come from poor planning and a lack of attention to detail, as with any spell crafting.
A well-planned and crafted spell cast with no guilt or expectations of backlash should cause no issues to anyone except the intended target. You have to mean it, you have to know (not just believe) you're doing it for reasons that are right to you and you need to be certain that you know what you're doing.
So to be clear, I do not and will not recommend firing off a curse whenever you feel a bit pissy, someone disagrees with you or for any real or imagined slight you suffer. Raping my daughter and claiming it was consensual - that will get you bound and cursed. Continuously attempting to sabotage my place of employment - that will get a lesser curse. Repeated stalking and harrassment of people who matter to me - that curse is ongoing and cumulative.
Blessings
Debbie
As you can probably imagine, all the usual pearl-clutching and wailing about the consequences of taking part followed. I patiently tried to explain the origins of threefold law, that it's not that simple and that it's a belief you need to buy into to have an effect. I received a terribly funny condescending response from a girl younger than my oldest daughter telling me that it didn't matter what I believed, it was a law and would happen whether I believed it or not.
Such things continued rather predictably, apparently they're entitled to their beliefs and I'm not entitled to mine if they're different and so on. Then one absolute gem of a respondent piped up. I should trust him, my soul is in danger and I need to do some serious cleansing, my soul will thank me for it. Blah blah blah.
Then I got a rather arrogant and terribly funny private message demanding I explain myself (because Hexing is Baaaaaaad) or he'd be forced to name and shame me and ban me from anything to do with their society.
It was the best belly laugh I've had in about a year. I am open that I will hex and curse and bind where I see it's needed. I have never had a backlash or bad consequences follow. I am also smart enough not to blame the slightest little bit of bad luck or misfortune on anything than what actually caused it. I don't see a hoofprint and expect to see a unicorn. So, since I am so open about it, just who is he planning to name and shame me to? What is this society that I'll be banned from? Who is this guy anyway and why should I change or edit myself to suit him?
I've been active in our local community for most of the last 15 years. I ran coffee meets for about 10 years, I've run several Pagan Festivals and I've had the only Pagan and Witchcraft stall at the Body Mind Spirit Festival for 12 years - although to be fair, there was a new one at the last festival. I was part of a group that ran open sabbats and esbats in Christchurch.
As such, I know most of the people worth knowing in our local community. Before his arrogant assumption of group conscience, I had never heard of him.
I have met busybodies of his sort before, they believe they have some sort of responsibility for the "spiritual wellbeing" of a group, they are self-appointed in this role and are usually overbearing, filled with expectations of gratitude for providing a service that is neither needed or wanted. I have never seen it end well for the person concerned.
Anyway, because it was so politely requested (*eyeroll*) I have decided to "explain myself", just so that we're completely clear on my views.
I will hex, curse and bind where I see a need. However, that need must be genuine and not something I do lightly. A decent curse or binding takes planning and work, it takes my time and energy and for me to bother with one requires more than boredom and feeling a little offended. I am not going to throw down because someone insulted me on the internet or hurt my feelings in some way. I'm a big girl, I can cope without resorting to petty revenge.
I am specific in my curses and bindings. I make it clear exactly what outcome I am working for. Whether that is the target suddenly starts to take responsibility for their past deeds, or they are unable to speak falsehood or gossip regarding specific people or that they get horribly sick from their continued alcohol abuse or they see people they've been favouring for who they really are.
While I have worked on behalf of others and will continue to do so, that also requires an explanation of why it's needed and for me to believe that it's necessary. I don't do it for just anyone either, only people who are important to me in some way.
The only way a curse ever backfires or has a backlash is when you believe it will and you build it into your magic unconsciously. Or when you plan and craft your spell badly without proper attention to detail. There may be unintended consequences that come from poor planning and a lack of attention to detail, as with any spell crafting.
A well-planned and crafted spell cast with no guilt or expectations of backlash should cause no issues to anyone except the intended target. You have to mean it, you have to know (not just believe) you're doing it for reasons that are right to you and you need to be certain that you know what you're doing.
So to be clear, I do not and will not recommend firing off a curse whenever you feel a bit pissy, someone disagrees with you or for any real or imagined slight you suffer. Raping my daughter and claiming it was consensual - that will get you bound and cursed. Continuously attempting to sabotage my place of employment - that will get a lesser curse. Repeated stalking and harrassment of people who matter to me - that curse is ongoing and cumulative.
Blessings
Debbie
Friday, 25 November 2016
Euphemism and The Naming of Things
I've been working away on my next book. It's a book about ritual. Included in this is a chapter about the journey from cradle to grave that goes into all the well-known and commonly celebrated milestones and a few suggestions for others that aren't necessarily recognised as often. Most of it has been fairly easy to write, but I found myself stopping at one and writing other parts of the book. Over and over again. I kept finding excuses and reasons to avoid writing about this bit. Death.
I have been rather erratic in writing the last few parts of this book. I think I've done most of the bits I'm passionate about and I'm working on the parts that I feel are important to include to make it a well-rounded book. I value the information, but I'm less excited about it. Except for writing about death, I am passionate about that, but for some reason I just kept shying away from it.
Over the last few months, I've been getting nudged from all directions about finishing and publishing this book. I've been told off for self-doubt, I've been nagged by admirers, I've had friends build me up and give me a well-deserved bollocking. I've also had nudges from other powers. Some I've made promises of writing for when this is finished.
So I sat down and started writing. I came round to the Death part again. I chose not to tackle it head on, but start by discussing superstitions, beliefs and expectations surrounding death. So rather quickly it came to all the euphemisms commonly used around mortality.
I hate euphemisms. I'm a big fan of saying what you mean and meaning what you say. To say things like "left us" and "passed over" instead of "died" has always struck me as pussyfooting around the subject and trying to pretend that they're just sleeping and will wake up soon. I put it out there to my facebook friends, trying to understand why using the actual words is considered tasteless, impolite and rude.
Most of the answers began along the lines of softening the blow and that death and dying are harsh words. There were some about respect for the families and sensitivity for how they're feeling. There were the times when "karked it", "kicked the bucket" or "croaked" were considered appropriate. Then there were the answers that made me sit up and pay attention. They were answers that made sense of it all for me. They fit neatly amongst beliefs I already held without realising that there'd been a part of the puzzle missing.
Naming is powerful magic.
This is a feature of many a fantasy story and folklore. Magic users who know the true names of things gain power over those things. Speaking an evil one's name is to attract their attention and can turn their gaze toward you. Never name the well from which you will not drink.
Variations of this are obvious or sometimes hidden in common superstitions. My Granny wouldn't have Arum lilies in the house unless there had been a death in the family. They were a funeral flower and to bring them inside without an accompanying funeral was to invite Death in to take someone.
Touch (or knock on) wood when discussing the expected misfortune that passed you by. Don't bring particular baby gear into the house before the baby is born.
While someone dying or being pregnant seem to be fairly mundane evils, if evil they are, they can still be things that people fear, things that people don't want to attract more of and things that sometimes get anthropomorphic personifications. The Grim Reaper and the Stork. One brings life and the other takes it away.
In the answers to my question was a response from a very wise woman who has spent time on the Isle of Man. She says that no Manx would say "rabbits" or "rats" for fear of the island being over run by them. They call them "short-tailed fellows" and "long-tailed fellows" instead. This one makes me smile rather than annoy me, it's less like the He Who Shall Not Be Named that gives what you fear power over you and more like the Gentry, Shining Ones and Good Neighbours.
Saying Their names aloud is an invitation. If you're in a group, crowd or at a party and you hear your name spoken, you pay attention. Sometimes you might go over to see if whoever said your name was calling you or talking behind your back. This is no different. They might come if you call and most sensible people really don't want Them to come visiting. If They don't actually turn up, They may still turn Their attention towards you. They may be listening.
A Fijian Indian told me that suicides are contagious. There is a demon that hangs around a suicide and takes other young folk to keep their friend company. I don't know if this is a Fijian belief or an Indian belief or specifically her belief - we were dealing with the suicide of a friend so the sources were unimportant at the time. Looking back now, I see a similarity and a connection. In my experience, there are no gentle euphemisms to explain suicide. When someone has been informed that they've lost a loved one, a friend or a workmate, especially if it's sudden and unexpected, one of the first questions is "how?". Usually the answer details the how, as in what method was used. I can't think of a single time that has been softened with euphemism, although that may also possibly be because the friends I've lost to suicide were all boys and men. Statistically, they tend to prefer more violent means.
I think most of us like to believe (even if we don't admit it) that we're immortal. We say silly things that suggest we have some sort of control over the timing of our eventual demise, "I'm not getting life insurance at this stage, it's okay, I don't have any plans to die any time soon" or a favourite from an ex-boyfriend "I don't need to wear my safety gear on my motorbike, I'm not going to have an accident". Facing our impending death usually scares us and generally speaking it's something we can't avoid thinking about when we've just lost someone.
All the euphemisms for Death have probably sprung from similar beliefs. Death, the Grim Reaper, the Dark Angel, Mighty Thanatos has already come calling once, He might still be nearby. Calling to Him might make Him take closer notice of you and yours, He could see something He overlooked the first time. He might decide to take you or your partner or your child.
Best not to call. Let Him carry on His way and pass the rest of us by.
Blessings
Debbie
I have been rather erratic in writing the last few parts of this book. I think I've done most of the bits I'm passionate about and I'm working on the parts that I feel are important to include to make it a well-rounded book. I value the information, but I'm less excited about it. Except for writing about death, I am passionate about that, but for some reason I just kept shying away from it.
Over the last few months, I've been getting nudged from all directions about finishing and publishing this book. I've been told off for self-doubt, I've been nagged by admirers, I've had friends build me up and give me a well-deserved bollocking. I've also had nudges from other powers. Some I've made promises of writing for when this is finished.
So I sat down and started writing. I came round to the Death part again. I chose not to tackle it head on, but start by discussing superstitions, beliefs and expectations surrounding death. So rather quickly it came to all the euphemisms commonly used around mortality.
I hate euphemisms. I'm a big fan of saying what you mean and meaning what you say. To say things like "left us" and "passed over" instead of "died" has always struck me as pussyfooting around the subject and trying to pretend that they're just sleeping and will wake up soon. I put it out there to my facebook friends, trying to understand why using the actual words is considered tasteless, impolite and rude.
Most of the answers began along the lines of softening the blow and that death and dying are harsh words. There were some about respect for the families and sensitivity for how they're feeling. There were the times when "karked it", "kicked the bucket" or "croaked" were considered appropriate. Then there were the answers that made me sit up and pay attention. They were answers that made sense of it all for me. They fit neatly amongst beliefs I already held without realising that there'd been a part of the puzzle missing.
Naming is powerful magic.
This is a feature of many a fantasy story and folklore. Magic users who know the true names of things gain power over those things. Speaking an evil one's name is to attract their attention and can turn their gaze toward you. Never name the well from which you will not drink.
Variations of this are obvious or sometimes hidden in common superstitions. My Granny wouldn't have Arum lilies in the house unless there had been a death in the family. They were a funeral flower and to bring them inside without an accompanying funeral was to invite Death in to take someone.
Touch (or knock on) wood when discussing the expected misfortune that passed you by. Don't bring particular baby gear into the house before the baby is born.
While someone dying or being pregnant seem to be fairly mundane evils, if evil they are, they can still be things that people fear, things that people don't want to attract more of and things that sometimes get anthropomorphic personifications. The Grim Reaper and the Stork. One brings life and the other takes it away.
In the answers to my question was a response from a very wise woman who has spent time on the Isle of Man. She says that no Manx would say "rabbits" or "rats" for fear of the island being over run by them. They call them "short-tailed fellows" and "long-tailed fellows" instead. This one makes me smile rather than annoy me, it's less like the He Who Shall Not Be Named that gives what you fear power over you and more like the Gentry, Shining Ones and Good Neighbours.
Saying Their names aloud is an invitation. If you're in a group, crowd or at a party and you hear your name spoken, you pay attention. Sometimes you might go over to see if whoever said your name was calling you or talking behind your back. This is no different. They might come if you call and most sensible people really don't want Them to come visiting. If They don't actually turn up, They may still turn Their attention towards you. They may be listening.
A Fijian Indian told me that suicides are contagious. There is a demon that hangs around a suicide and takes other young folk to keep their friend company. I don't know if this is a Fijian belief or an Indian belief or specifically her belief - we were dealing with the suicide of a friend so the sources were unimportant at the time. Looking back now, I see a similarity and a connection. In my experience, there are no gentle euphemisms to explain suicide. When someone has been informed that they've lost a loved one, a friend or a workmate, especially if it's sudden and unexpected, one of the first questions is "how?". Usually the answer details the how, as in what method was used. I can't think of a single time that has been softened with euphemism, although that may also possibly be because the friends I've lost to suicide were all boys and men. Statistically, they tend to prefer more violent means.
I think most of us like to believe (even if we don't admit it) that we're immortal. We say silly things that suggest we have some sort of control over the timing of our eventual demise, "I'm not getting life insurance at this stage, it's okay, I don't have any plans to die any time soon" or a favourite from an ex-boyfriend "I don't need to wear my safety gear on my motorbike, I'm not going to have an accident". Facing our impending death usually scares us and generally speaking it's something we can't avoid thinking about when we've just lost someone.
All the euphemisms for Death have probably sprung from similar beliefs. Death, the Grim Reaper, the Dark Angel, Mighty Thanatos has already come calling once, He might still be nearby. Calling to Him might make Him take closer notice of you and yours, He could see something He overlooked the first time. He might decide to take you or your partner or your child.
Best not to call. Let Him carry on His way and pass the rest of us by.
Blessings
Debbie
Thursday, 18 August 2016
If You Don't Like It, Don't Do It
I know this isn't a new thing, but it's really getting on my nerves lately.
I'm talking about people trying to tell other people how to live. This leaks over into every part of life - there are things like gay marriage, interracial relationships, dietary choices or lack thereof, medical choices or lack thereof and most recently, Pokemon Go.
I don't understand this need to regulate other people's lives or even to concern yourself with choices that really have no impact whatsoever on you - except perhaps that it might make you a little uncomfortable.
Who someone is in love with (and what bits they have), what tv shows they like to watch, whether or not they eat wheat or meat, what car they drive, what they wear or what Gods they worship is none of your business. In no way does it have any effect on your life or your ability to enjoy your life. What seriously is the purpose in trying to dictate to others that they have to be like you? Do you get a kick out of making someone miserable just so you can feel more comfortable around them?
If you feel that someone else's life is offensive to your religious beliefs, then why not leave those judgments and punishments in the hands of the Gods? I'm pretty sure They're more than capable of taking care of things Themselves if something should offend Them.
Personally, I'm not aware of any religion that requires it's followers to make others outside of the religion miserable just to please themselves. Similarly, I'm also not aware of any religion that asks it's followers to be the most obnoxious, self-important prats who constantly try to make the world over in their own image.
If something is against your religion, then don't do it. You don't get to tell others that they have to conform to the ideals of your religion.
If you are vegan or vegetarian (for whatever reason) good for you. Unfortunately, there's a trend amongst vegans particularly to try and push their lifestyle choices onto everyone else as though it's the only healthy option. This is usually supported by cherry-picked bad science that also assumes that everyone's physiology is identical and the dietary needs of one person are identical to the next.
If you don't like eating (or wearing) animal products, then don't. But you don't get to dictate that others have to follow your way. For many people this will make them very sick.
Since I discovered that I was Gluten Intolerant, I've found it truly bizarre not just how many people have an opinion about it but the range of opinions and suggestions I've had. I've heard everything from "this gluten-free stuff is all bullshit" to "it's not the gluten, it's the preservatives they put in white bread (which I didn't eat anyway), you need to make your own bread and you'll be fine" to "You're just being a drama queen".
I don't understand how becoming violently ill if I eat gluten affects you enough for your opinion to be something I should take under serious or any consideration. Unless you're holding my hair for me, I'm going to file you under "dick" in my head.
Unless it's a school which has a dress code or uniform rules or you are employing someone for a job with a dress code or uniform rules, then how someone else dresses, what piercings or tattoos they may have is none of your business.
This whole "dress for the body you have, not the body you want" thing leaves me flabbergasted. All the social media memes about how low-riding or sagging started in prison to show you were "available" or all the blog posts about "what women over 30 should never wear" are all part of the same thing. Why does a complete stranger require your approval? If someone is comfortable and feeling confident and happy in their clothes, then that should be celebrated not condemned.
If you don't like those clothes, those piercings or those tattoos, then don't wear them. You might not like to see their stretch marks or their ribs, they may be bigger or smaller than you feel comfortable seeing, but you don't know their story, you don't get to tell them what they can and can't wear or what they should be doing about their body type.
If someone wants to do a detox diet or use homeopathy or restructure their home for good Feng Shui how is this your problem? Aside from people dangerously neglecting children and pets by failing to seek appropriate medical attention when it's needed or trying to make a cat vegan, anything else is not your problem, it affects you in no possible way and there is nothing useful to be gained by being offended by someone else's choices in these things.
I'm sure you're seeing the theme here. Decide for yourself what you do, let other people do the same. Try to understand why you think that others require your approval and why you think your opinion of their choices or lack of choices should matter to them - would their approval or opinion matter to you?
Voicing your opinions about things like this says more bad things about you than it does about them.
Blessings
Debbie
I'm talking about people trying to tell other people how to live. This leaks over into every part of life - there are things like gay marriage, interracial relationships, dietary choices or lack thereof, medical choices or lack thereof and most recently, Pokemon Go.
I don't understand this need to regulate other people's lives or even to concern yourself with choices that really have no impact whatsoever on you - except perhaps that it might make you a little uncomfortable.
Who someone is in love with (and what bits they have), what tv shows they like to watch, whether or not they eat wheat or meat, what car they drive, what they wear or what Gods they worship is none of your business. In no way does it have any effect on your life or your ability to enjoy your life. What seriously is the purpose in trying to dictate to others that they have to be like you? Do you get a kick out of making someone miserable just so you can feel more comfortable around them?
Objections on Religious Grounds
If you feel that someone else's life is offensive to your religious beliefs, then why not leave those judgments and punishments in the hands of the Gods? I'm pretty sure They're more than capable of taking care of things Themselves if something should offend Them.
Personally, I'm not aware of any religion that requires it's followers to make others outside of the religion miserable just to please themselves. Similarly, I'm also not aware of any religion that asks it's followers to be the most obnoxious, self-important prats who constantly try to make the world over in their own image.
If something is against your religion, then don't do it. You don't get to tell others that they have to conform to the ideals of your religion.
Objections to Food Choices
If you are vegan or vegetarian (for whatever reason) good for you. Unfortunately, there's a trend amongst vegans particularly to try and push their lifestyle choices onto everyone else as though it's the only healthy option. This is usually supported by cherry-picked bad science that also assumes that everyone's physiology is identical and the dietary needs of one person are identical to the next.
If you don't like eating (or wearing) animal products, then don't. But you don't get to dictate that others have to follow your way. For many people this will make them very sick.
Since I discovered that I was Gluten Intolerant, I've found it truly bizarre not just how many people have an opinion about it but the range of opinions and suggestions I've had. I've heard everything from "this gluten-free stuff is all bullshit" to "it's not the gluten, it's the preservatives they put in white bread (which I didn't eat anyway), you need to make your own bread and you'll be fine" to "You're just being a drama queen".
I don't understand how becoming violently ill if I eat gluten affects you enough for your opinion to be something I should take under serious or any consideration. Unless you're holding my hair for me, I'm going to file you under "dick" in my head.
Objections on Aesthetic Grounds
Unless it's a school which has a dress code or uniform rules or you are employing someone for a job with a dress code or uniform rules, then how someone else dresses, what piercings or tattoos they may have is none of your business.
This whole "dress for the body you have, not the body you want" thing leaves me flabbergasted. All the social media memes about how low-riding or sagging started in prison to show you were "available" or all the blog posts about "what women over 30 should never wear" are all part of the same thing. Why does a complete stranger require your approval? If someone is comfortable and feeling confident and happy in their clothes, then that should be celebrated not condemned.
If you don't like those clothes, those piercings or those tattoos, then don't wear them. You might not like to see their stretch marks or their ribs, they may be bigger or smaller than you feel comfortable seeing, but you don't know their story, you don't get to tell them what they can and can't wear or what they should be doing about their body type.
Objections because Science
If someone wants to do a detox diet or use homeopathy or restructure their home for good Feng Shui how is this your problem? Aside from people dangerously neglecting children and pets by failing to seek appropriate medical attention when it's needed or trying to make a cat vegan, anything else is not your problem, it affects you in no possible way and there is nothing useful to be gained by being offended by someone else's choices in these things.
I'm sure you're seeing the theme here. Decide for yourself what you do, let other people do the same. Try to understand why you think that others require your approval and why you think your opinion of their choices or lack of choices should matter to them - would their approval or opinion matter to you?
Voicing your opinions about things like this says more bad things about you than it does about them.
Blessings
Debbie
Monday, 15 August 2016
Magic With Jars
I've always been a big proponent of use what you have and find what works. It never ceases to amaze me how often people feel hamstrung by not having the "right" things for the spell they want to perform.
Let me introduce the humble jar. It might be a preserving jar, a plastic peanut butter jar or a large fancy decorative jar. The uses for it are limited only by your imagination. Below I've provided a few ideas to stir up that imagination.
As with any spell, it's important to be clear and specific about what you want. Vague spells get vague (or no) results. Charging, empowering, energising (however you look at it or whatever you call it) is also absolutely essential. Otherwise, it's no different to the jar on the windowsill that all the little stuff (buttons, pins, paperclips) that might be useful one day gets stored in.
Any of these could be stand alone work or used in conjunction with any other type of spell.
Honey and Sugar Jars (or bowls or saucers) for sweetening people are common in Hoodoo, Rootwork and American Folk Magic.
Write the name of the person needing sweetening and place it in the jar. Alternatively, you can combine petition magic with this and write a letter or explanation of the situation that needs sweetening. Fill the jar with sugar, honey, molasses, syrups, jams - anything that is sweet can work.
Some dress a candle and burn that on top or beside the jar, some do this repeatedly until they get their results.
This can be used for a job spell to make the potential employer favour you, to attract someone to you, to resolve conflict in your favour, in court cases, to soothe someone who is upset at you or to stop or prevent abuse of any sort against you. Any situation where someone needs a little sweetening up.
This is a well-known and common jar spell used for personal (and family) protection.
Fill a jar with nails, broken glass, sharp and nasty stuff. Fill it with your own urine, add some blood or hair or other bodily fluids. Seal it and tuck it away hidden somewhere on your property. Under the floor, inside a wall or buried in the garden are popular places.
The personal links act as a decoy for you. Anything sent your way goes to the jar instead of you, then the sharp nasties trap it there and tear it apart.
Any money spell can work in a jar. Fill it with money drawing components, add a magnet and some coins. Be specific about how you want money to come to you. You could add your spare change to this when you think of it and have a magnifying component. You could write yourself fake cheques from the "Bank of Life". You could add a money powder or bank statements or something to represent goals that you need money for.
It might help to decorate the jar and leave it somewhere you can see it often.
Leave the lid off or you will block the money from coming to you.
A jar can work in place of both poppet and thing to contain or bind the poppet. Put the person inside the jar (photo, personal links, names or a poppet), you could bind the jar, or bind the links inside the jar.
This can also be used to calm someone down when they're a bit over the top in any fashion. I know a lady who "bottles" her husband when his exuberance gets to be too much.
The jar could be filled with sharp nasties as in the Protection Jar, poisonous or thorny plant matter, animal faeces, toxic or unpleasant insects or their houses (ant hills, wasp nests, spider webs) or any other unpleasant items you can think of. Add the person's name, photo, a personal link or sample of their handwriting. You could also add water collected during a thunderstorm or black water from a septic tank.
I'm sure by now, you can see a pattern. Put your spell components or sympathetic components into the jar, add your target or purpose, charge it up and seal. This list is only a few ideas that I see or use most commonly, use your imagination for any other uses.
Blessings
Debbie
Let me introduce the humble jar. It might be a preserving jar, a plastic peanut butter jar or a large fancy decorative jar. The uses for it are limited only by your imagination. Below I've provided a few ideas to stir up that imagination.
As with any spell, it's important to be clear and specific about what you want. Vague spells get vague (or no) results. Charging, empowering, energising (however you look at it or whatever you call it) is also absolutely essential. Otherwise, it's no different to the jar on the windowsill that all the little stuff (buttons, pins, paperclips) that might be useful one day gets stored in.
Any of these could be stand alone work or used in conjunction with any other type of spell.
Honey Jar
Honey and Sugar Jars (or bowls or saucers) for sweetening people are common in Hoodoo, Rootwork and American Folk Magic.
Write the name of the person needing sweetening and place it in the jar. Alternatively, you can combine petition magic with this and write a letter or explanation of the situation that needs sweetening. Fill the jar with sugar, honey, molasses, syrups, jams - anything that is sweet can work.
Some dress a candle and burn that on top or beside the jar, some do this repeatedly until they get their results.
This can be used for a job spell to make the potential employer favour you, to attract someone to you, to resolve conflict in your favour, in court cases, to soothe someone who is upset at you or to stop or prevent abuse of any sort against you. Any situation where someone needs a little sweetening up.
Protection Jar (also known as a Witches Bottle or Bellarmine Jar)
This is a well-known and common jar spell used for personal (and family) protection.
Fill a jar with nails, broken glass, sharp and nasty stuff. Fill it with your own urine, add some blood or hair or other bodily fluids. Seal it and tuck it away hidden somewhere on your property. Under the floor, inside a wall or buried in the garden are popular places.
The personal links act as a decoy for you. Anything sent your way goes to the jar instead of you, then the sharp nasties trap it there and tear it apart.
Money Jar
Any money spell can work in a jar. Fill it with money drawing components, add a magnet and some coins. Be specific about how you want money to come to you. You could add your spare change to this when you think of it and have a magnifying component. You could write yourself fake cheques from the "Bank of Life". You could add a money powder or bank statements or something to represent goals that you need money for.
It might help to decorate the jar and leave it somewhere you can see it often.
Leave the lid off or you will block the money from coming to you.
Binding Jar
A jar can work in place of both poppet and thing to contain or bind the poppet. Put the person inside the jar (photo, personal links, names or a poppet), you could bind the jar, or bind the links inside the jar.
This can also be used to calm someone down when they're a bit over the top in any fashion. I know a lady who "bottles" her husband when his exuberance gets to be too much.
Curse Jar
A curse jar can be a specific one curse only item or for repeated usage.The jar could be filled with sharp nasties as in the Protection Jar, poisonous or thorny plant matter, animal faeces, toxic or unpleasant insects or their houses (ant hills, wasp nests, spider webs) or any other unpleasant items you can think of. Add the person's name, photo, a personal link or sample of their handwriting. You could also add water collected during a thunderstorm or black water from a septic tank.
I'm sure by now, you can see a pattern. Put your spell components or sympathetic components into the jar, add your target or purpose, charge it up and seal. This list is only a few ideas that I see or use most commonly, use your imagination for any other uses.
Blessings
Debbie
Monday, 23 May 2016
Lenses and Filters
There's a person I've kind of known for some time now. Let's call them Fred. In the last few weeks, I've been talking with Fred more often and I have found myself realising that Fred is actually a good person and I really do like them. That might not sound like a big thing to realise, I know. But there is surprise with that realisation. I'm surprised to find that I like Fred. I am surprised to find that they're really a good person. This made me think.
It came to me that most of my interaction with Fred up until recently has been coloured by another person. We'll call them George. George has known Fred for longer than I have and doesn't have a particularly high opinion of them.
It shocked me that I'd only seen Fred through the lens of George's opinion. I had thought after being caught out by this sort of thing in the past, I'd learned from it. I had thought I'd be better able to recognise it.
It then occurred to me that seeing many things in life is often coloured by the lenses and filters provided by other people. This is a huge part of the conditioning we receive as children - our parents ideals and opinions shape the way we see the world, then the teaching we get at school, the books we read and the tv channels we choose to watch.
As an adult, I like to think that I'm past all that. Question everything is a huge part of my personal philosophy and I know I drive a lot of people a little bit nuts by questioning things they take as gospel. I play Devil's Advocate often when someone says something that I'm sure they haven't thought through very well. So it really did shock me when I realised that I'd allowed this to happen.
Why am I writing about this on a Pagan/Witchcraft blog? Because I feel it's relevant. Much of my frustration with the idiocies I have to deal with as an admin online comes from, I believe, the lenses and filters that people have. There are a heap of dreadful authors out there - this isn't news, I'm sure - many decent groups have a "recommended reading" section and a "books/authors to avoid" section. While we're busy bagging Silver RavenWolf, DJ Conway and Edain McCoy, there are still times when they were the first things we read and we still see our paths through the filters they initially provided.
This may be and probably is an unconscious thing for most of us. We haven't thought about where an aversion to something comes from, why we shy away from certain types of work or the way we still tend to think of Goddess as a generic all-encompassing Divine Feminine Cosmic Barbie Doll.
For me, much of my early days were Dianic. I found it unfulfilling and unbalanced and I found myself besieged by bestial masculine Gods who demanded Their share of my attention. But every now and then I still find myself seeing things from a Dianic point of view.
I think if we make a conscious effort to examine our ideas and beliefs every now and then we can take away the rosy tint, fuzzy focus or blinkers that our early learnings have placed over and around our vision. Make an effort to consider the whys and hows of what we think.
It can be brutal, I'm not going to lie to you. Any time you go through a process of honest self-examination, there are things you find that challenge the picture you have of yourself, that show you up to be not the person you think you are or aspire to be. The trick is to accept it, learn from it, change what needs changing and move on. If you allow yourself to wallow in self-loathing (which is easy to do), then it turns into a blame and punish situation rather than an opportunity to learn and grow.
Blessings
Debbie
It came to me that most of my interaction with Fred up until recently has been coloured by another person. We'll call them George. George has known Fred for longer than I have and doesn't have a particularly high opinion of them.
It shocked me that I'd only seen Fred through the lens of George's opinion. I had thought after being caught out by this sort of thing in the past, I'd learned from it. I had thought I'd be better able to recognise it.
It then occurred to me that seeing many things in life is often coloured by the lenses and filters provided by other people. This is a huge part of the conditioning we receive as children - our parents ideals and opinions shape the way we see the world, then the teaching we get at school, the books we read and the tv channels we choose to watch.
As an adult, I like to think that I'm past all that. Question everything is a huge part of my personal philosophy and I know I drive a lot of people a little bit nuts by questioning things they take as gospel. I play Devil's Advocate often when someone says something that I'm sure they haven't thought through very well. So it really did shock me when I realised that I'd allowed this to happen.
Why am I writing about this on a Pagan/Witchcraft blog? Because I feel it's relevant. Much of my frustration with the idiocies I have to deal with as an admin online comes from, I believe, the lenses and filters that people have. There are a heap of dreadful authors out there - this isn't news, I'm sure - many decent groups have a "recommended reading" section and a "books/authors to avoid" section. While we're busy bagging Silver RavenWolf, DJ Conway and Edain McCoy, there are still times when they were the first things we read and we still see our paths through the filters they initially provided.
This may be and probably is an unconscious thing for most of us. We haven't thought about where an aversion to something comes from, why we shy away from certain types of work or the way we still tend to think of Goddess as a generic all-encompassing Divine Feminine Cosmic Barbie Doll.
For me, much of my early days were Dianic. I found it unfulfilling and unbalanced and I found myself besieged by bestial masculine Gods who demanded Their share of my attention. But every now and then I still find myself seeing things from a Dianic point of view.
I think if we make a conscious effort to examine our ideas and beliefs every now and then we can take away the rosy tint, fuzzy focus or blinkers that our early learnings have placed over and around our vision. Make an effort to consider the whys and hows of what we think.
It can be brutal, I'm not going to lie to you. Any time you go through a process of honest self-examination, there are things you find that challenge the picture you have of yourself, that show you up to be not the person you think you are or aspire to be. The trick is to accept it, learn from it, change what needs changing and move on. If you allow yourself to wallow in self-loathing (which is easy to do), then it turns into a blame and punish situation rather than an opportunity to learn and grow.
Blessings
Debbie
Tuesday, 22 March 2016
Why I Don't Run Pagan Events Anymore
Luana and I spent roughly ten years off and on running Pagan Coffee Meets. I saw great events happening in other parts of the country and went through a resentful and wistful patch of "why isn't there anything like that happening here?". Then one day I thought about it more sensibly and decided that if I wanted one, I should start one.
I advertised my first coffee meet in New Zealand forums (this was back in Eziboard days, well before facebook was a thing) and also on Meetup. I spoke to local shop owners and left my number so anyone interested could contact me.
Meetup decided there weren't enough numbers responding on it's page and officially cancelled it, but we went anyway. It was attended purely by my friends. There were five of us in total, having a drink in a quiet corner of the Dux de Lux and we spent most of it planning our next ritual since it was effectively a meeting of our ritual group.
I chose not to be disheartened by it and planned another for next month. We had a phenomenal turn out for Christchurch. 20 new people came along. I was excited by this, I felt validated and justified in giving it another go. Then I learned that many of them had come along because they'd been told that last time we'd sat around backstabbing others in the local community and bitching about people. They'd come to set us straight on a few things.
I can only assume that there was some other meeting going on that we'd been confused with. It had only been our little group and there hadn't been anyone close enough to eavesdrop on our conversation. I didn't know many other people in the Christchurch Pagan Community to gossip about and neither did any but one of our group. To this day, I've never learned where this had come from.
After a few months, the New Zealand Pagan Centre was created and we chose to come under it's umbrella, continuing coffee meets that were advertised through it's network. The NZPC soon turned into what can only be described as a clusterfuck and stopped running in anything but name. We continued our coffee meets. We had a great core group that met every month. We'd moved to the Coffee House and the staff there had gotten to know us very well.
When Luana and I created Cauldrons, we began to advertise the coffee meets through our website. We changed the time to lunchtime on Saturday and had another great group of people start to come along. We got up to a fairly consistent 10 - 20 people at each meet and caused several connections and friendships to form between people just wanting one or two others to befriend and practice with.
I stopped Coffee Meets when the earthquakes destroyed the central city. I did look at other surrounding areas but they were always too problematic for people. Buses and carpooling were just too hard it would seem. Then I moved out of Christchurch anyway.
After a few years, someone was asking about Coffee Meets again in a local facebook group. He didn't know enough people and wasn't confident to start one himself, but was adamant he'd turn up if one was offered. Several other locals echoed his words. So I set one up. I advertised it, I posted reminders several times leading up to it. And I sat there with my close friend and oldest daughter as not one of the buggers turned up. Well, I had a lovely visit and nice lunch in the sun anyway.
We were also asked on a fairly regular basis about holding a Festival. We'd both travelled to and worked at other Festivals in other parts of the country, so we set about organising one.
The budget was rather prohibitive. We found a rather low-cost but also low-amenity venue, but getting public liability insurance was a nightmare - it took over half of our total budget in the end.
We chose not to try and get big overseas names to speak as there was no way we'd be able to afford to pay for their travel alone, never mind any of the other normally associated costs. We put it out there for anyone in the local community who wanted to share their wisdom. It was our thought that there was a lot of local talent that went unregarded.
Two weeks out from the Festival, we had four confirmed and paid for bookings. That's four people in total. Two of them were children. We had more volunteers who we'd promised a very cheap weekend to in return for working for most of it. We were reaching the last cancel-without-paying-full-price date and getting nervous. A last minute appeal to everyone brought in enough last minute bookings to make going ahead worthwhile.
We'd contacted a local coven to run a ritual as we didn't want that added stress on top of our first festival. Two members of the coven stayed for the whole weekend, the remainder turned up for the day of their ritual.
Now there are always things that happen unexpectedly. I don't think it's possible to plan for every eventuality. Our only real issue was that the main Saturday night feast was late by nearly an hour. Four different spit-roasted meats. It was that or we risked undercooked chicken and pork as part of the feast. I overheard some rather rude snark and bitching about it as though it was a deliberate insult to these people.
I thought everything else went reasonably well, most of the feedback was positive. The only complaint that was ever said directly to us was that it wasn't long enough, can we pick a long weekend next time? But I still have stuff come back to me indirectly about that weekend.
We've run another three Festivals, each with their own drama queens making them memorable for the wrong reasons. Each with small hiccups but mostly they've run smoothly.
Each with associated snark and bitchiness that followed. Sometimes from people who have never attended a single one we've run.
A friend tried to set one up in her separate part of the country. She was getting close to the last date she could cancel by without paying full price for the venue and had two bookings. That sounded familiar, so I was lending support and experience. Someone piped up and told her she just needed to be more understanding because that person was a "last-minute person" and that was just the way she was. When I pointed out how rude and disrespectful such an attitude was to the organiser, I was blasted as being "negative" and "the wrong sort".
There are always a few volunteers that go above and beyond what is expected of them. They are people to be treasured, even though they'll usually just humbly tell you it was nothing when you express your gratitude. There are equally always a few that can never be found when they have jobs to do or will refuse to wipe the dishes, sweep a floor, clean the loos or even check toilet paper levels.
So as you can probably tell, by now I'm rather wary about doing anything like this. People piss and moan about how there's nothing in their area, but when there is, they don't support it by turning up. When they do turn up, they piss and moan about how they could have done a better job, or this was wrong or that was done badly or they invent issues to bitch and backstab about.
For the time being anyway. I'm done. You want events, you organise them. I have enough to do without trying to cater for a community that doesn't respect the time, money, blood, sweat and tears that goes into any event.
Debbie
I advertised my first coffee meet in New Zealand forums (this was back in Eziboard days, well before facebook was a thing) and also on Meetup. I spoke to local shop owners and left my number so anyone interested could contact me.
Meetup decided there weren't enough numbers responding on it's page and officially cancelled it, but we went anyway. It was attended purely by my friends. There were five of us in total, having a drink in a quiet corner of the Dux de Lux and we spent most of it planning our next ritual since it was effectively a meeting of our ritual group.
I chose not to be disheartened by it and planned another for next month. We had a phenomenal turn out for Christchurch. 20 new people came along. I was excited by this, I felt validated and justified in giving it another go. Then I learned that many of them had come along because they'd been told that last time we'd sat around backstabbing others in the local community and bitching about people. They'd come to set us straight on a few things.
I can only assume that there was some other meeting going on that we'd been confused with. It had only been our little group and there hadn't been anyone close enough to eavesdrop on our conversation. I didn't know many other people in the Christchurch Pagan Community to gossip about and neither did any but one of our group. To this day, I've never learned where this had come from.
After a few months, the New Zealand Pagan Centre was created and we chose to come under it's umbrella, continuing coffee meets that were advertised through it's network. The NZPC soon turned into what can only be described as a clusterfuck and stopped running in anything but name. We continued our coffee meets. We had a great core group that met every month. We'd moved to the Coffee House and the staff there had gotten to know us very well.
When Luana and I created Cauldrons, we began to advertise the coffee meets through our website. We changed the time to lunchtime on Saturday and had another great group of people start to come along. We got up to a fairly consistent 10 - 20 people at each meet and caused several connections and friendships to form between people just wanting one or two others to befriend and practice with.
I stopped Coffee Meets when the earthquakes destroyed the central city. I did look at other surrounding areas but they were always too problematic for people. Buses and carpooling were just too hard it would seem. Then I moved out of Christchurch anyway.
After a few years, someone was asking about Coffee Meets again in a local facebook group. He didn't know enough people and wasn't confident to start one himself, but was adamant he'd turn up if one was offered. Several other locals echoed his words. So I set one up. I advertised it, I posted reminders several times leading up to it. And I sat there with my close friend and oldest daughter as not one of the buggers turned up. Well, I had a lovely visit and nice lunch in the sun anyway.
We were also asked on a fairly regular basis about holding a Festival. We'd both travelled to and worked at other Festivals in other parts of the country, so we set about organising one.
The budget was rather prohibitive. We found a rather low-cost but also low-amenity venue, but getting public liability insurance was a nightmare - it took over half of our total budget in the end.
We chose not to try and get big overseas names to speak as there was no way we'd be able to afford to pay for their travel alone, never mind any of the other normally associated costs. We put it out there for anyone in the local community who wanted to share their wisdom. It was our thought that there was a lot of local talent that went unregarded.
Two weeks out from the Festival, we had four confirmed and paid for bookings. That's four people in total. Two of them were children. We had more volunteers who we'd promised a very cheap weekend to in return for working for most of it. We were reaching the last cancel-without-paying-full-price date and getting nervous. A last minute appeal to everyone brought in enough last minute bookings to make going ahead worthwhile.
We'd contacted a local coven to run a ritual as we didn't want that added stress on top of our first festival. Two members of the coven stayed for the whole weekend, the remainder turned up for the day of their ritual.
Now there are always things that happen unexpectedly. I don't think it's possible to plan for every eventuality. Our only real issue was that the main Saturday night feast was late by nearly an hour. Four different spit-roasted meats. It was that or we risked undercooked chicken and pork as part of the feast. I overheard some rather rude snark and bitching about it as though it was a deliberate insult to these people.
I thought everything else went reasonably well, most of the feedback was positive. The only complaint that was ever said directly to us was that it wasn't long enough, can we pick a long weekend next time? But I still have stuff come back to me indirectly about that weekend.
We've run another three Festivals, each with their own drama queens making them memorable for the wrong reasons. Each with small hiccups but mostly they've run smoothly.
Each with associated snark and bitchiness that followed. Sometimes from people who have never attended a single one we've run.
A friend tried to set one up in her separate part of the country. She was getting close to the last date she could cancel by without paying full price for the venue and had two bookings. That sounded familiar, so I was lending support and experience. Someone piped up and told her she just needed to be more understanding because that person was a "last-minute person" and that was just the way she was. When I pointed out how rude and disrespectful such an attitude was to the organiser, I was blasted as being "negative" and "the wrong sort".
There are always a few volunteers that go above and beyond what is expected of them. They are people to be treasured, even though they'll usually just humbly tell you it was nothing when you express your gratitude. There are equally always a few that can never be found when they have jobs to do or will refuse to wipe the dishes, sweep a floor, clean the loos or even check toilet paper levels.
So as you can probably tell, by now I'm rather wary about doing anything like this. People piss and moan about how there's nothing in their area, but when there is, they don't support it by turning up. When they do turn up, they piss and moan about how they could have done a better job, or this was wrong or that was done badly or they invent issues to bitch and backstab about.
For the time being anyway. I'm done. You want events, you organise them. I have enough to do without trying to cater for a community that doesn't respect the time, money, blood, sweat and tears that goes into any event.
Debbie
Thursday, 10 March 2016
Warning Signs That a Leader or Teacher Might Be Unhealthy For You
I started to write a big long essay about warning signs in Pagan and magical groups (both online and in meatspace). Then I found Morgan Drake Eckstein's The top thirteen signs that a leader or esoteric group might be too rotten to bother with.
He covers it so much better than I would although I do want to add a few things to this. For a start, a perusal of :
The Advanced Bonewits' Cult Danger Evaluation Frame and see how it fits with the group that you're looking at. It can be scary how many facebook groups tick too many of these boxes, never mind offline groups that meet in person.
I'd also look at how questions are treated.
I ask a lot of questions. Sometimes it's because I don't understand how you managed to come to that conclusion and I'm trying to figure out the whys and wherefores. Sometimes it's to see if we're using the same word but have different meanings. Sometimes it's because I've never heard of what it is you're talking about and I'm always keen for a learning experience. And sometimes because by making you think about the questions I'm asking, I'm hoping you'll figure some things out for yourself.
The responses I get can be very telling of whether you're someone worth listening to, someone to just ignore or someone to run from. And I'm not just talking about the content of the response. I'm talking about the way in which the response comes.
Does the response seem angry? (As in "how dare you" rather than projected emotion). Does it seem to make them nervous? Does it get ignored or brushed off? Do you suddenly have a lot of others jumping in to tell you off for asking? Does it get treated as 'negativity' or 'being a smart arse'? Do you find your question has been deleted? Do you get a lot of waffly ramblings that skate around it but don't actually answer your question?
I treat all of these as warning signs. Sometimes it's warning you that they don't really know what they claim to know but won't admit it and sometimes it's a warning that you're dealing with a megalomaniac who's trying to control everyone. Sometimes it's a warning that there are mental health issues going on.
A worthwhile teacher or leader doesn't mind being questioned. As long as it's done with respect and not as a demand or expectation.
Another one that Morgan touches on but I wish to expand further is the following:
Morgan is speaking more of Ceremonial Lodges than the average pagan or witchcraft group, but this does carry over. The point I wish to highlight in this is the last part - all their knowledge comes from Secret Chiefs that only they are spiritually and magically advanced enough to meet. I've met self-appointed leaders who get all their information from "their guides" or "the Gods" or some special spirit they've channelled. Unless there is some way to verify the information, be very very careful.
A prime example of this type of thing is the Ramtha Cult.
One I've experienced claimed she had a channelled message from "the Goddess" for everyone at our ritual. I've never found the Gods shy about making their wishes known to me, they've never used the flowery "dear one" type language when talking to me and the instructions (and yes they were instructions) fit neatly in with what the channeller had been pushing for, but were completely against the direction my Gods had been pushing me. I left that ritual angry at her for her attempted manipulation of everyone present and for believing that we would be gullible enough to fall for it.
I'm sure there's more I've missed, I'm sure there's stuff that's become other people's personal red flags. These are just the main ones that I've experienced.
Blessings
Debbie
He covers it so much better than I would although I do want to add a few things to this. For a start, a perusal of :
The Advanced Bonewits' Cult Danger Evaluation Frame and see how it fits with the group that you're looking at. It can be scary how many facebook groups tick too many of these boxes, never mind offline groups that meet in person.
I'd also look at how questions are treated.
I ask a lot of questions. Sometimes it's because I don't understand how you managed to come to that conclusion and I'm trying to figure out the whys and wherefores. Sometimes it's to see if we're using the same word but have different meanings. Sometimes it's because I've never heard of what it is you're talking about and I'm always keen for a learning experience. And sometimes because by making you think about the questions I'm asking, I'm hoping you'll figure some things out for yourself.
The responses I get can be very telling of whether you're someone worth listening to, someone to just ignore or someone to run from. And I'm not just talking about the content of the response. I'm talking about the way in which the response comes.
Does the response seem angry? (As in "how dare you" rather than projected emotion). Does it seem to make them nervous? Does it get ignored or brushed off? Do you suddenly have a lot of others jumping in to tell you off for asking? Does it get treated as 'negativity' or 'being a smart arse'? Do you find your question has been deleted? Do you get a lot of waffly ramblings that skate around it but don't actually answer your question?
I treat all of these as warning signs. Sometimes it's warning you that they don't really know what they claim to know but won't admit it and sometimes it's a warning that you're dealing with a megalomaniac who's trying to control everyone. Sometimes it's a warning that there are mental health issues going on.
A worthwhile teacher or leader doesn't mind being questioned. As long as it's done with respect and not as a demand or expectation.
Another one that Morgan touches on but I wish to expand further is the following:
5. Does not cite sources – magical and spiritual knowledge does not grow in a vacuum. A leader or teacher who never mentions who taught them or the books that they have read is guilty of trying to conceal their past. If they try to conceal their past, then what else are they hiding? Especially troublesome are those who claim that all their knowledge comes from Secret Chiefs that only they are spiritually and magically advanced enough to meet.
Morgan is speaking more of Ceremonial Lodges than the average pagan or witchcraft group, but this does carry over. The point I wish to highlight in this is the last part - all their knowledge comes from Secret Chiefs that only they are spiritually and magically advanced enough to meet. I've met self-appointed leaders who get all their information from "their guides" or "the Gods" or some special spirit they've channelled. Unless there is some way to verify the information, be very very careful.
A prime example of this type of thing is the Ramtha Cult.
One I've experienced claimed she had a channelled message from "the Goddess" for everyone at our ritual. I've never found the Gods shy about making their wishes known to me, they've never used the flowery "dear one" type language when talking to me and the instructions (and yes they were instructions) fit neatly in with what the channeller had been pushing for, but were completely against the direction my Gods had been pushing me. I left that ritual angry at her for her attempted manipulation of everyone present and for believing that we would be gullible enough to fall for it.
I'm sure there's more I've missed, I'm sure there's stuff that's become other people's personal red flags. These are just the main ones that I've experienced.
Blessings
Debbie
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