Week 12... I think: Home and Hearth

Happy Equinox Everyone. I wonder what you all got up to. If you completely missed the Sabbat, if you had a huge celebration or if, like me it was more subdued. Please feel free to share in the comments below.

I had planned a few small celebratory activities and observance but decided against it as I just wasn't 'feeling' right. As I sit here today reflecting on another Sabbat gone past (the days just run away with me) I've realised that I actually did spend the weekend in very autumnal activities anyway. Just like with Spring cleaning, Autumn cleaning is important. The change in seasons is a great time to physically cleanse the house in preparation for Winter. I cleaned this weekend and let a very gusty (and cold) wind blow through all corners of the apartment. After cleaning came the cooking. Cooking for family on both days and also preparing meals for future dinners and lunches. Though it's not quite the same as preparing for the scarcity of winter, it was a nice time to reflect on the changing seasons. Especially with the break in the heat with the cool wind.

Of late my pagan celebrations have been less overt but I like to spend some time reflecting on the meaning of the day and how it is relevant to my life. It might seem simple but I like that it can be like that. Big elaborate rituals are great but sometimes the more intimate personal thoughts can be just as powerful.

Oh and you may have noticed I've been a little slack with blog updates. It's not that I've thrown the New Year initiative out the window but rather I've amended it so that I'm not filling this blog up with inane junk. Also I've been rather busy with work and life so much so that while I still am writing (like that would change) I've not had the time or inclination to edit my writing to a standard that I would be happy to share it with the wider public. I'll get back to that when everything settles down here.

Week 9 (and 8 because I was away): Powers and Gifts

I'm a bit of a skeptic when it comes to a lot of things within the Pagan realm. You'd think someone who works with magic and Gods and other unseen entities would have less disbelief towards others' claims of 'powers' and 'gifts' and yet I often find myself rolling my eyes and scoffing when I hear claims of this that type.

What prompted this musing was a question on a Facebook group about the 'gifts' people have and the ensuing discussion. There were a lot of claims of 'gifts' and 'powers', each one appearing to be a one-up on the previous. I sat reading, shaking my head at the stories people offered up, thinking about how deluded each person was. Then I sat back and wondered, why did I react like that? It's not like I haven't personally experienced many of these things; dreams, visitations, the success of a spell and the fluctuations in energies around me. This got me thinking. Why the skepticism?

Personally I think the experiences are the exceptions and not the norm. I don't mean I'm the exception and I'm not discounting that things can happen, but I don't think they are 'powers' and 'gifts' that a person has. I've been known to ask for rain during a hot, sunny and cloudless day only for the heavens to open up five minutes later. I've also found myself out in the sun with no shade and burning from the heat wishing that the wind would pick up and blow a cloud across the sky to cover the sun, which has happened on a couple of occasions. With this sort of 'success' do I think that I have some special weather power/gift? Not at all. I'm inclined to believe it's a happy coincidence. Yes I believe words/thoughts have power, but my ego is not big enough to think that my thoughts are actually going to change the weather, regardless of how strange and closely correlated the events are.

Do I believe some people have talents that can be learned and exercised like any other mundane talent? Sure. I've seen some great tarot readers who have had to learn and hone their craft. Do I believe people who have psychic talent are crackpots? Of course not. Many of my friends have psychic leanings and of those I would trust a few with my life so if they see/feel things then I believe they see/feel them.

I wonder if my skepticism at someone claiming to be a great and powerful XYZ is that I'm really a scientific girl at heart. If a claim can't be quantified and verified then it is harder for me to accept it happened and wasn't a part of an imagined experience. I sometimes wonder if my own experiences are imagined because of this same skepticism. Is that something that other practitioners experience? A self doubt? I'm not talking about bringing doubt into spell work because I never doubt that. Doubt leads to failure. I mean that after you get good results, or after you have an 'otherworldy' experiecnce, do you have a moment of doubt where you wonder if it is just a coincidence or perhaps you just imagined it happened?

I will say though that I should be more tolerant when someone makes a claim of having experienced something. Sure it might not be verifiable, and could quite possibly be a coincidence, but does their believing it actually hurt me? As for my own experiences, why does it matter if the end result is the same? Do I really crave validation that my experiences are real? And real by what standards?

Unfortunately today's post is loaded with more questions than answers and crazy idle thoughts.

Week 7: Fiction - Introducing Charlie Turner

This is the beginning of a story about Charlie Turner, a young witch with a secret that she's kept to herself for most of her life, partly because she didn't think it strange in the beginning and then because she was worried about being thought of as a little too weird (and considering she's a witch in a predominantly Christian small country town that's saying something).  The story is only partially written as I got pulled in another direction. Perhaps, I'll be able to finish it here.


Breathe. Nice and slow. In through the nose. Feel the air as it revitalises each cell it touches. See the light of life flowing with that air. Breathe. Out through the mouth. The used toxic breath leaving the body, its task complete. In, two, three, four. Out, two, three, four. Slowly energy rises and the circle traced around me begins to glow, gently at first, and illuminating more and more with each breath taken. Roots earlier sent into the Earth, draw living energy from the Mother to aid in the task that lies ahead.

To the outside observer I’m merely sitting cross legged on a brown corduroy cushion, eyes closed, perhaps meditating, not unlike a myriad of devotees at some far eastern ashram. The small room devoid of furniture is lit barely by the soft flicker of a single black candle that sits slightly raised on a stack of books before me. The sound of a pan flute probably played by some java swigging hippie as he sits on the bank of a river, disguises my structured breathing. Completing the scene is the sweet aroma of clove incense, fingers of fragrant smoke curling through the air, dancing into each corner of the room.

Smack dab in the centre of this is me. Charlie, well Charmaine if we are being accurate though only my gran calls me that, Turner. Long black hair hanging freely past my waist, where a purple cord is tied around a well worn and wash discoloured white dress. Charlie Turner. Plump first year law student, who turned 18 four days ago. Charlie Turner. Witch. Yes that’s right. Sitting there on the set of what could be a very cheesy porno flick is a witch. I don’t look like what you might expect a witch to look like if you've never met one before. No I don’t have the hooked nose with the wart on the end. I don’t wear flowing black robes (often) nor do I wear (or even own for that matter) a black conical hat. But regardless of Disney stereotypes, witch, I am.

There's no significant calendar reason for tonight's activities. It’s not a Sabbat or a pagan holiday; and by the enveloping darkness outside it certainly is not a full moon. What I’m doing is something I’ve done many times before, and will probably do many times again and though how I do it has changed since I was young it always seems to start the same. Earlier this evening, I began by cleansing myself, which tonight was a long languid soak in a bath richly scented with home blended oil. As I lay there, relaxing in the warm, but rapidly cooling water, I let my worries drain from me. I pushed outward any negative thoughts and feelings that rose, letting the water wash it away. In addition to bathing in the cleansing water, I was surrounded in a soft white light, which came from within me to settle just around my body, leaving an iridescent glow. When I felt that I was ready, that I was cleansed and pure of mind and body, I rose from the water, towel dried off and donned the loosely fitting white dress.

The dress isn’t anything special. It’s not something I have had made just for ritual. It’s not even something I wear exclusively for magic, though it is getting to the stage where I doubt I'd wear it in public. I found it at a thrift store about a year ago when I was looking for furniture for my future student flat. The dress just caught my eye, and I couldn’t believe when it fit so well. It's the same with most of the tools I use for ritual. Each item has multiple uses or began life as something else. My censor is just an old beat up brass pot-plant holder I found at a country fete, the dishes that hold my water and salt are similar garage sale discoveries and the altar cloth is an old scarf I wear from time to time. I didn’t intentionally set out to find these items; to be honest I think they found me.

The censor is the only tool being used tonight. It sits on the stack of books beside the candle and from it incense swirls upwards. Right at this moment though, I don't notice any of it. I cannot see the candle. I cannot see nor smell the incense. I cannot hear the pan flute in the background. If you look closely you would see that my breathing has altered and is no longer a controlled and deliberate breath but has become soft and barely audible. My eyes no longer move beneath eyelids that also remain still. All tension has gone from my body and it sits there, completely relaxed in quiet repose, barely a whisper from sleep.

As the candle flame flickers in a fiery dance, one realisation would come over you.  I'm not moving because I'm no longer in my body.

Week 6: Anti-vaccination is BS

I'm preempting this week's post with an warning that this is me ranting.  There are some who will be offended by the tone and content and accusations but to be perfectly honest if you are upset when the post content hits too close to home because you are one of the people this is aimed at, then frankly I don't care.  Vaccinate your children for all our sakes.

Anti-vaxxers make me mad. Really mad. I've had my run in with a few online and I even work with one.  What's an anti-vaxxer?  A parent who refuses to vaccinate their child against a number of diseases, some which can be life threatening.  Someone who, in their naivety (at best) or stupidity and negligence (at worst), puts not only their child at risk, but others, who for some reason are unable to be vaccinated. 

It's not that I don't believe a person is allowed to make decisions for their lives.  I do.  And parents should be allowed to make decisions for how they raise their children.  But there is a limit.  A line that needs to be drawn where we just say to parents, you don't know what you're talking about and you must do it this way.

There are some areas where this already happens.

• No, you aren't allowed to shake your baby.  
• No, you can't drive your car with your baby sitting on your lap.  
• No, you can't leave a baby in a hot car while you go shopping.  
• No, kids under 14 aren't allowed to look after themselves while you go out drinking, or to bingo, or to the country club or wherever. 

Of course there are the sane parents who will have looked at the list above, shaking their heads, knowing that they would never do any of those things. However they're not the reason the rules exist.  You see, the reason for the rules and laws about how we treat kids is because some parents will inevitably do these things and then some. They've been done, time and time again and just like any person who breaks a law (we call them criminals) the law enforcement people (police :P) need a mechanism to punish the criminals and deter others from following suit.

So how does this fit in with this rant about those parents who choose to forgo vaccinations for their children? It's simple really.  I believe there needs to be a rule, a law, that protects kids from the stupidity of their parents.   Just as there are laws requiring parents to buckle their kids into car seats, I believe there should be laws requiring vaccinations.

My question is why do some of the same parents who understand the rules above, and want to have no harm come to their children, also believe that they, in their lack of medical training, know better than all the trained professionals who say you need to vaccinate your child?

Dr Jennifer Raff wrote a great open letter to parents about all the arguments the anti-vaxxers use and the lies they try to sell to make their point, and discredits them with links to support what she says.  I could rehash it here, but to be perfectly honest, she has the PhD, not me.   You can read her words here. 

I don't think these parents are being malicious in their intent.  I think that many of them truly believe that vaccinations are bad and these parents think they are doing what's best for their kids.  It's that when confronted with the facts, these parents choose to figuratively stick their fingers in their ears and ignore the science.  Ignore those who have spent years studying and working in these fields.  Doctors, scientists and other professionals who know what they're talking about. 

This is why I think the choice for vaccinations needs to be taken out of the parent's hands.  They obviously aren't making a properly informed decision.  It's not really their fault.  In this day and age it's so easy for people to be bombarded with information and there's not a whole lot that can stop the dissemination of lies that many of the proponents of the anti-vaccination movement use to try to convince parents to join them.  They sow seeds of doubt and that doubt grows to the point where a once sane parent may look at their child and think, what if they're right?  What if it does cause XYZ?  Better safe than sorry.   And then the parent is hooked and the child is put at risk.

Parents can be highly emotional.  These parents, in their normal daily lives, are probably level headed and capable of making rational decisions based on fact rather than emotion.  But you put their children into the mix and instill a fear that something might happen, and that rationality disappears.  Instead of thinking, well there are hundreds of studies that prove that vaccinations are safe and don't cause autism, they read about that one fraudulent study by the doctor, Andrew Wakefield, who has now had his medical license revoked and the study results proved to be false and think, oh my, it might happen to my child, I better not risk it.

My dislike of anti-vaxxers comes from having a father who contracted polio as a child.  He was one of the lucky ones and only has a leg that is weaker and almost half as skinny as his other one.  The polio vaccine was not available when my father was a child but luckily there is no need for a child to suffer the deformities that can come with contracting polio.  After a lot of effort, polio has been eliminated in most countries and is one of those diseases that we hope will be eradicated.  There is a global push to do just that.  Unfortunately there has only ever been one disease that has been eradicated in human history and that was small pox which was declared eradicated by the World Health Organisation (WHO) in 1980. 

I think there is some confusion in the terminology used when discussing diseases.  Eradication is different from elimination.  Eradication is the complete annihilation of a disease from the global population, though true eradication would be completely destroying all stocks of the disease.  The global initiative to eradicate small pox started in 1958 and took just over 20 years, and while it is eradicated, there are small stocks kept by some countries for study etc.  This is different from elimination where the spread of a disease is stopped in a country or other specified area but it still exists.

If more and more people move towards an anti-vaccine stance, then this can thwart eradication efforts.   One such disease is measles.  The measles vaccine was first used in 1963 and combined with the mumps and rubella vaccines, to create the MMR vaccine that became the focus of this crazy anti vaccine crusade, in 1971.

Many countries are striving to eliminate measles because of the high mortality rate of those who contract the illness.  It hasn't been eliminated in NZ yet, but in 2000 the US declared that it had been eliminated from within their borders.  How long it retains that status, in light of the recent outbreak in California which has been linked quite heavily to children who were voluntarily not vaccinated, remains to be seen.

According to the WHO, in 2013, there were 145 700 measles deaths globally.  This equates to about 400 a day or 16 deaths every hour.  Why should people be dying from an illness that we have a vaccine for?  It makes zero sense.  If these parents really love their kids, why would they put them at that risk?

Penn and Teller say it best in the video linked here.  Anti-vaccination is bullshit!

Week 5: Pagan Practices and the Law - Part 1 - Intro

So a few years ago at a Cauldrons' PaganFest I held a lecture on how our Pagan practices can be influenced by the laws of New Zealand.  It was a long and involved lecture talking about the NZ Bill of Rights Act 1990 and how it applies to various Pagan related activities.  I was very nervous when I gave it and I've since tried to block the memory of it out because while I was happy with the content, the delivery left a lot to be desired.   Anyway, a friend reminded me of it by sending me a link that illustrated one of the points I made with regards to nudity, and it dawned on me that aside from the rant last year about Discharge Without Conviction I haven't posted anything law related and I figured it's probably time I change that.

So I'm going to rework the lecture into separate posts.  This will give me the ability to fully explore each topic in a clear and hopefully easy way to follow.

I'll probably stick to the format of the original lecture - beginning with the NZ Bill of Rights Act 1990 and how it protects us against discrimination as well as its limitations and from there I'll look specifically at different situations we find ourselves in.  In the lecture we looked at bonfires, nudity, sex in ritual and athames.  If I can come up with any other topics to discuss and explain then I will add to that.  If you have any areas you want clarified then please add them to my list either in a comment or by PMing me on Facebook.  I'll be looking at things from an NZ legal perspective, even though I live in Australia, because that's where I got my law degree.  However we'll see, that may change if there's a need. 

And here's the usual disclaimer:  I'm not a practicing lawyer in NZ or Australia.  Yes I am admitted in both jurisdictions, but I am not registered and don't practice.  What I post here is information readily available to anyone if they know where to look and how to interpret it.  The information contained in these posts is provided for informational purposes only, and should not be construed as legal advice.  These posts will contain general information and may not reflect current legal developments (because, well the law is constantly changing like the tides). We disclaim all liability for actions you take or fail to take based on any content on this site.

Phew... enough with that.

Week 4: Honouring Nature in Air Conditioned Comfort.

As a group (I'm well aware this is a wild generalisation) Pagans like to think they're all about honouring Nature in all Her forms.  You know the images.  Dancing under a full moon. Dancing outside around a Maypole at Beltane.  Dancing through meadows as you pick flowers in Spring.  Dancing around a bonfire at...  Hmm... there is a lot of dancing here.  Let's change that to sitting around the bonfire at Winter Solstice.  Actually you probably need to dance to stay warm.

Regardless there is a lot of celebration outside in Nature.  Then there is the gardening with the moon, meditating in the woods, observing the changing seasons by celebrating when the last leaf falls or the first buds bloom.

Now I'm a Winter girl.  Always have been.  Introspection is my thing.  Darkness, cold weather, and hibernation.  I like big sweaters and heavy duvets on my bed.  Gloves on my fingers and scarves, oh do I own so many long, thick, woolen scarves. 

My problem is that right now it's hot.  Today the mercury rose well above 30 degrees Celsius and in some parts of the country I'm in (Australia) it went above 40. There are no scarves or gloves or thick comfy sweaters in my near future.  In fact it's so hot that even sitting relatively idle leads to uncomfortable sweating and stickiness so much so that like many I seek refuge under the cooling jets of an air conditioner.

I've just been wondering, how does using technology to artificially get around Nature's all too warming embrace during the Summer months, fall in the realm of honouring Her in all Her forms?  There are two issues I see.  Firstly the use of air conditioning is a use of electricity and with that, unless you're harnessing the power from a renewable source, you're wasting finite resources.  And secondly, by seeking to avoid the warmth (well sweltering heat is more like it) that She provides, are you  presuming that by having a Summer Solstice celebration of some sort you can still be honouring Nature, while thumbing your nose at Her by putting your comfort ahead of Her 'gifts'?  Are you saying you know better than Her when it comes to the correct temperature for the world to be?

On the other side of the coin are you of the opinion that we have been given free will and an inventive spirit so that we can make things and advance technology to where air conditioning is standard and that's also an example of us honouring Nature, because we, as humans are also a part of Nature.  By denying our gifts of knowledge and ingenuity, are we also choosing not to use gifts we have been given?

It's a trivial argument really and to be completely honest I don't know if I fall on either side, or if I care enough to actually find out where I stand.  Perhaps it's the heat that addled my brain before taking refuge in a nicely air conditioned room.  It's just I've been reading so many Facebook posts from friends and hearing people complain about how hot it is and how they love their fans/air conditioners/swimming pools that I wondered how seeking to adjust the natural temperature the world is (even though it's just your tiny portion of it), fits into honouring Nature.   

Any thoughts?

Week 3: The Pursuit of Greatness

I'm a movie fan and I just watched 12 Years a Slave. I couldn't bring myself to actually go to the movies to see it. I figured it would get messy and I would want to be alone when that happened. As predicted my eyes are still sore and the skin on my cheeks feels tight from the tears.

Once it was over, while I was still in the post movie... I want to say glow, but this was more of shock I think, I watched a few actor's interviews on YouTube. I wanted to know if there was some insight into how they (particularly those who had the task of doing and saying some rather horrific things) handled that. How were they able to get through it. I did read that in one scene Michael Fassbender actually passed out - not sure if that's true.

The actors were all very professional, and said the usual 'I tried to blah blah blah when portraying my character blah blah' answers.  Not sure why I needed to know, I guess I wanted to see if they were affected by the story as much as I was.  (I'm pretty sure that unless they were sociopaths they would have been in some small way).

Anyway, it was while watching Fassbender's interview that the inspiration for this blog post came because something he said struck a chord with me. (And it had nothing to do with the original reason for watching the interview - lol).  He said he read the script and told Steve McQueen that he wanted to be a part of it. Even if it were just a small role with a 1-2 day shoot, he didn't care. Obviously he would prefer the lead role he got, but he just wanted to be a part of something important.

That got me thinking. Isn't that something that a lot of people strive for? To be part of something important. To feel like they made a contribution and rather than just being on the sidelines, they were a part of the making of something great? In the movie world in NZ I wonder if that extends to people who wanted to be a part of the Middle Earth phenomenon that took over our little country. Just to be able to say, I was a part of that.

For myself I've been wondering.  What part of greatness have I had a hand in, or want to have a hand in helping to achieve?

I've come to the realisation that greatness doesn't have to be on a grand 'let's change the world' scale.  Yes people who fought for women's right to vote, marriage equality or against any number of human rights atrocities, have a hand in what I would call greatness.  However I don't think it necessarily needs to be on that scale.  At the end of their life, I believe most people would like to be able to look back and point at something and say, I did that or I was a part of that and that was my contribution to the world.

It's my birthday today and I've been joking with friends that I'm officially closer to 70 than birth (which is an arbitrary figure if you think about it).  I guess it's helped spur me on to contemplate whether I would look back on my life and say there's where I achieved, or helped to achieve, greatness.  I'm not sure I've done it yet.  The problem is, I'm not sure what I want that greatness to be.

My other question is, how does one recognise that they are in the midst of doing something that is 'great' or is it that for us mere mortals greatness is the sum total of all the little things we do and the little victories we have?  Or are we destined to move into oblivion with no more impact than a bug on a windscreen?  

Just a bit of navel gazing today.... 

Week 2: Short Story - Sacrificing Beauty

This piece was inspired by a discussion on a facebook group that went up and down like a roller coaster with insults, thou shalts, and real witches blah blah. Reading through it the idea for this story came to me, so it got written especially with this blog in mind.

Vegans beware?


**********
Sacrificing Beauty

The creature’s heart raced rapidly beneath her hands as the girl worked to calm it. She cooed soothing sounds while her hands gently stroked soft velveteen fur. The young doe kicked its legs out struggling against the inevitable, but the girl held on tight, calling for the doe to cease fighting; willing it to settle. Over time the intensity of the struggles subsided and the animal’s heart slowed.

Earlier, as the first beams of light rose over the distant Eastern horizon and while dew still clung to a soft green mix of grass and mossy groundcover, the girl had taken her place in the small clearing. Barefoot and unadorned save for a simple white shift she’d sat cross legged for hours meditating on the task before her. In her mind’s eye she had seen her mother as she was, a cacophony of tubes and machines beeping and whirring in sync to keep her alive. It was an accident, side-swiped on the passenger side by a red light runner and while she knew in her mind that it wasn’t her fault, as a learner driver her heart betrayed her into taking the responsibility on her shoulders. Slowly the vision morphed into her mother as she wished her to be. Conscious and back on her feet smiling, full of life and vitality.

Softly she hummed to the animal, weaving a hypnotic web of assurance and safety. Singularly focused on her task she was unaware of her surrounds. Rays of waning sunlight broke through the high canopy of trees, speckling the woodland floor below. Birds in the distance chirped cautiously but none enter the small clearing occupied by girl and captive. After fifteen more minutes she loosened her grip and the doe remained in place, sitting before the now kneeling girl.

She’d known what might be asked of her, in return for her desire, and she’d come prepared. A sharp blade lay to her right, untouched since morning. It wasn’t until the doe had wandered into the clearing and come to stand beside her that she’d been certain how this day would end. The initial struggle of the doe had almost undone her. Would she be able to go through with it? To become someone who could do such a thing? The fragile look of panic and vulnerability when the girl first captured the doe still hung in her mind’s eye, in contrast to the calm beauty before her. Quickly she replaced that image with one of her mother, as she wanted, needed her to be.

Her heart raced as she felt around for the blade, keeping her eyes locked on the doe’s. Unwilling to break the spell she had woven. The light from above caught the swing of the highly polished blade. Red spray now marred the girl’s white dress as a single tear slid down her cheek. She leaned forward, kissed the doe’s still head and whispered, “I’m sorry but thank you.”

Week 1: A Decision and not a Resolution

It's been quite some time since I wrote anything here.  I'm not sure the real reason why, but I'm pretty positive that if I thought about it I would be able to come up with some excuses about how my life is too busy, or I just haven't had the inspiration.

It's a bit like my Pagan life to be completely honest.  I've been in a bit of a hibernation with my practice and I can't say for certain why that is. I'm not saying I've been too busy to be Pagan, because that would be like saying I'm too busy to breathe or be human.  My Paganism is a part of me that can't be separated.  It's not something I do, it's something I am.

That being said, I have been lax of late in my overt practices, whether they be ritual, or spell craft or even just simple meditative observances of the changing world around me.  So do I still feel and believe what I did before I stopped being an active participant in all things Pagan?  You bet.  I still have my own truths.  I still feel the call of the Goddess, but somehow that's been less demanding, like She knows I needed some 'me time' instead of 'We time'.

What has prompted me to write this today?

All around me (in cyberspace that is) I've seen people posting their New Year's resolutions, or non-resolutions, and while I can't help but think that for the majority they will lead to failure (because isn't that what generally happens) it has inspired me to be a little introspective.  It's January 3rd, 2015 and I felt inspired to make a resolution, except that I don't do those because they inevitably end in failure - see previous sentence.

Since I'm not going to make a resolution, I'm going to make a decision and make that decision public (which is not a resolution because of semantics okay? - lol).  I love to write, and it seems that I have the perfect forum for this writing passion in the form of this blog (and a number of ongoing projects) so I've decided that I'm going to publish at least one piece of my writing, be it a blog rant, a short story or a excerpt from the novels I'm working on, on this blog, each and every week until people get sick of me. While I'm still in this 'hibernation' in my Pagan life (and perhaps it'll help bring me out of it) I'll try to keep my nonsense on topic (this is the Cauldron's blog after all so most of it will have a Pagan theme) but I can't promise that will always be the case.  Sorry.

If you have any feedback please feel free to express it either in a comment below or by PMing me.  I will reserve the right to disable this facility if my fragile ego gets too much of a battering, but I'm also going to use that as both inspiration and motivation to keep going. So help a sister out.  :)

Anyway, that's my decision for now.  Let's see if we can keep this going without it turning into one of those failures that a resolution has a tendency to become.