Friday, 22 February 2013

Trying to Find the Positives

I looked over this blog yesterday, just after I’d posted the Bitchcraft rant.  I realised that I’m ranting a lot.  There is a lot about our community at the moment that saddens me, that disappoints me, that irritates me and rubs me up the wrong way.

So I looked around to try and find something useful and positive to write about.  NOT the copy and paste or shared nauseating memes and “inspirational” quotes that flood social media.  Something that I could call genuinely positive in our ‘community’.

It was hard to find anything. 

In one group about a Festival coming up, there was an offer of a Gnostic Mass by the OTO.  That had potential as a positive, but freakouts and assumptions followed - based on “she might have her tits out and we’re a family-friendly thing”.  I find that sad for a group that claims to be so open to anything.  Not to mention the foot-stomping by someone who claims to have stepped back from that festival and has only attended one in several years.

I saw a flounce and denunciations of negativity from another group after someone thought they were doing a public service, but didn’t read the group rules of how to go about it.  They were informed politely that this was how it was supposed to be done, but apparently, a link to something Maxine Sanders has done overrides all group rules.

I saw a tantrum (followed by wildly inaccurate justifications) from a supposed elder after being caught out doing something silly.

I saw plagiarism and associated threats (drama optional).

I saw another inaccurate representation of a community service I was involved with years ago - from the person who decided her own unrealistic and bigoted standards were more important than community.

I saw intelligent discussion of a community issue descend into pointless name-calling and abuse.

I heard about adventures at Pantheacon - a large American Pagan Convention (as far as I can tell) that was mostly stories about they dealt with or avoided some of the challenging twits who come along.

The useful and positive things I have heard about this week have come from phone calls with friends.  One is doing a wonderful service to another in a magical setting, but being the person he is, it’s all kept quiet.  In doing this service to her, he is also getting wonderful service from her as I know he feels isolated magically as well as geographically.

I saw a man I respect handle a difficult situation with more grace and honour than the situation deserved.  Although, again this was kept private.

Why is it that the truly useful and positive things are so hidden?  Humility from those who genuinely do these things may be some of it, but others who know also keep their mouths shut.

Could it be that too many others would step in and taint it with their accusations of ulterior motives?  That they would twist and warp a positive thing until it seems sinister.  I know such things happen, I’ve been on the receiving end of it often enough.

Is ‘Tall Poppy Syndrome’ so bad that we have to hide our lights out of fear that we’d be knocked down next?

Is the fault with me?  Is it that I don’t see the small positives that are going on all around?  Do I only see the negative, the nasty and the disheartening because that’s what I’m expecting to see?

Right now, this whole thing makes me feel old and tired and sad.



  1. If you have a look at my FB wall, you notice I do the meme thing. This isn't because it's LOL-craft.
    It because I like to look at other peoples' thoughts and ideas that are not my own, and in their struggle and victories I can see they find some real Gold. I find it heartening that when so much bad stuff is visible, that, if I discard my pretentions and my bias's about people, their groups, their religions, their creed - if I sweep away all those labels, I find some beauty underneath, small enough that I too can share, without having to impress my world on them.

    This is the paradox (yin/yang) of the Light. It creates illusion, our eyes and minds create these illusion, and only by surrendering them and accepting them for what they truly are, can we move beyond our own pain.


    1. I like the memes you post, they're not the nauseating crap, they're usually intelligent, thought-provoking, a little geeky and funny. But yours is also only within your chosen group of friends, not the wider community.

      I was looking within Pagan groups mostly - and maybe that's some of the problem. Those drawn to the groups seem to like the drama.

      I was looking for actual examples of people doing real stuff (as opposed to the wishy-washy sending out love and light or lighting a candle for you) that was positive and useful and being appreciated for that.

      I'm not saying yours isn't that, not in the slightest.

    2. I am only ever myself, as best (or worst) that I can be. If friends want to see or not they can, I don't need to sell to the community, I don't need nor condemn their support. I am just a single person, and part of the ALL. I would rather see a world of amazement and glory, than to make my single small boundaries my Universe.
      It's a bit like the afterlife, with no physical matter to keep things apart and defined, like tends to seek the same level as like, resonating in the same pitch and place.
      And that continues, until one deliberately takes the effort to Create Change. To leave the old rut behind.

      The problem that gets me with the "light a candle" crowd, is that it's a powerful meme/system when used by people who have the practice and have build the skills - but for most people, they're still moving on the surface, never having taken the deeper plunge, and because the way community etc is formed, never having witnessed anything else - because witness is Gnosis, and can only be done by a single small individual at a time...