Piracy of copyrighted works has been an issue for as long as the internet has been around. When I was a teenager, if we wanted a "free copy" of a book, we either had to steal it outright (or pay the fine for not returning it to the library) or photocopy the entire book - which wasn't really free as we had to pay 20c per page at the library. If you wanted music, you had to tape it off the radio and hope the announcer wouldn't talk over too much of the song, or have a friend who'd bought it on vinyl or tape and copy it onto a tape. It wasn't as simple as an almost instant download.
Now there are pirate websites offering thousands of pdf copies of books for free. Some have been closed down, but I believe for each one that is removed, three more spring up overnight. Some have even started the practice of having reviews and ratings for the pirate works "So at least the author gets some benefit". Author Michelle Harrison took on a pirate site recently and received some rather aggressive and angry emails in response. You can see some of it in her Twitter and a write up about it in The Guardian.
I find myself in a very messed up headspace over the issue of piracy.
On the one hand, I self-published. I never offered my work to a publishing house, I wanted to have total control over my work. Perhaps this was naive of me, I don't know. But I kept my words and my voice intact, I kept my meanings intact and clear, I chose the title, the cover design and the font. All things that another author I know didn't get and it put her off writing forever. The title her publisher gave her book changed the slant of the entire thing and set her up for a world of hurt.
The bio and book blurb that my publisher had someone write for my approval was awful. It was immediately clear that they'd read none of my book past the category. I felt vindicated in my choices.
By self-publishing, I have paid a lot of money to have my work out there. It is more money than I would normally have freely available. I borrowed to have some print copies of my own and while I paid a "discount", you can buy my book on Amazon for little more than I paid for my discounted copies. I paid for marketing. I paid to have copies sent for review - reviews that I don't know if they've ever happened, I've seen nothing of those reviews.
I knew that writing for a Pagan audience would never make me rich. Janet Farrar commented in a group I'm in that even in their hey-day, she and Stewart lived below the poverty line and often had to resort to "dumpster diving" to be able to eat. I went into this with no illusions or delusions about imminent wealth and fame.
However, I didn't think it unreasonable to hope to break even. I expected that I would at least earn enough to pay back the money I had borrowed.
I'm not even close. After almost four years, I think I've had maybe 10% of what I spent back in royalties.
So, I went into a bit of a funk.
My book is obviously crap. My friends love it, but they're my friends, they're supposed to support me and things I do. I'm sure many of them love it purely out of loyalty. Then I started getting calls at home on my unlisted landline. From publishing companies. Asking for me by my married name and not my pen name. Wanting to "invest" in my book. They hadn't read it, didn't know it had been published, didn't know my pen name. They already had my newish email address. Their "investing" in my work would cost me twice what I've already paid. I've clearly been put on a list by my publisher that's been sent to other self-publishing companies and hybrid publishing companies. I'm not making them enough money so they're trying to pass me on to someone else.
My funk deepened.
I'm 45,000 words into a second book. I've spent years reading and researching so that this one can have some authority behind my assertions, it has citations and a big healthy bibliography so readers can learn more from smarter people than me. It's been a huge labour of love, endless hours of reading, even if three weeks of reading and note-taking ends up making a single paragraph.
Why would I bother? It's obviously a waste of my time and no one will want to read it.
I find facebook groups that have hundreds and sometimes thousands of pirated pdfs, they never have my book. What's wrong with my book? There's other fluff in there that I wouldn't use to prop up a table leg, is mine worse than that?
Then I found a few of those pirate websites that have ratings and reviews. There are thousands of reviews and ratings on my book there. Thousands. It's seems to be sitting at 3.8 to 4.6 stars. If each person who left a review had even paid 50c towards my book, I would have broken even several times over. I would have money to put towards the book I'm working on. I would have been able to buy a few more of the books that I want to read, reference and cite in my current work.
My husband asked me what had been my purpose in writing my book. Did I want to make money or did I want it to be read? I wanted it to be read, I wanted the information out there. Maybe those people wouldn't have read it if they'd had to pay for it? I don't know. I also don't know if that makes up for the missed royalties.
But I'm still left with a publisher who clearly doesn't want me, unsure if I can finance this next book I've spent years working on. I'm unsure if I want to continue. I don't know if it's all worth it.
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